Inseparable

• Chapter 5 •

Faith

I wait until I hear the front door slam, meaning Hope has left, and then rush downstairs, acting like I've been rushing this whole morning.

"Bye daddy!" I rush, quickly pecking his cheek before almost rushing out the door.

"Wait! Faith, you didn't eat anything for breakfast!" My dad calls me back. I knew this would happen, luckily, I'm prepared.

"I took an apple to eat on the way!" I shout back, which I wasn't lying. I was just planning on eating it later when I get hungry.

"Okay, have a good day sweetie!" My dad calls before the door slams behind me. I rush to catch up with Hope, though she may have snapped earlier, I hope she isn't still mad.

"What took you so long this morning? You're always the first one up and ready." Hope mentions as soon as I catch up, all earlier comments forgotten. This is what I love about us, we might bicker, but we'll still be best friends and sisters.

"I was tired so I slept in later." I pant, still slightly tired from the two minute run to catch up. That girls walks fast!

"Oh, okay." And we walk the rest of the way in silence.

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Usually math is one of my best classes even if I don't care for it, but today was horrible. I kept getting all the practice questions wrong. I guess now I'm stupid and fat. Stupid. Fat. Useless. Ugly. Stupid, fat, useless, ugly. Stupid fat useless ugly.

The bell rung snapping me out of my
day dream. I glanced over at the completed worksheet of the person beside me before looking down at my empty one. I quickly gathered up my books and rushed out of the classroom dreading my next class.

I couldn't even bear to look at anyone. I kept my eyes glued to the floor as I quickly made my way to the change room. I felt sick to my stomach. I considered going home sick but then Hope would never get off my case. She'd figure out something was wrong soon enough. I had to suck it up.

come on, I told myself, you can do this. You're as good as everyone else. But I'm not.

After changing I slowly made my way into the gym hoping no one would look at me. The second I noticed them, which was immediately after I stepped out of the locker room, I started to feel sick again. I look down at my stomach and sucked it in seeing if I could look like the other girls. Flat stomachs, thin legs, small waists. Why don't I look like that?

They glanced over at me, and I instantly looked down. Shit they noticed me. They began to giggle. I saw Hope talking to what must be some of her new friends when the teacher blew her whistle signaling to start our 5 laps.

I watched as Hope easily raced around the track laughing and talking, even with the guys. How come everything is so easy for her? I wish I was her instead of me. Stupid, fat, useless, ugly, repulsive me.

We started off by playing a game called Human Rock Paper Scissors "to break the ice and start to trust each other" as Mrs. V said during her speech about the importance of team building and the friends we were going to make in this class. Yeah right, I scoffed, like that was ever going to happen.

"I mean, just look at her." I see one of the girls giggle. One of the small, skinny girls. True type of girls that have the body that I can only dream of. I look down, not listening to Mrs. V explain the rest of the rules for the next game. Apparently for the first week we play 'motivating and trust building' exercises that are pretty much the games you play in grade one, but hey, I wasn't complaining.

Gym passed in a blur, probably from all the 'exercises'. I quickly get changed in the bathroom and then rush off to my locker.

"Where am I gonna eat?" I ask myself subconsciously. I tap my finger on my lower lip as I look at what's interesting in my bag. Sandwich, granola bar, and an apple. I accidentally pull my bag away from me for a second, but in that short time I see the slight buldge of my stomach.