Define irreplaceable.

Intro: Prespective.

Internal dialogue meets... asshole teen boy. Can't explain it, just read.

—FIRST DAY BACK FROM SPRING BREAK—

I wake up. Same shit. Guess that's consistency.

—BREAKFAST—

At breakfast, I eat some Cheerios and stare at the wall. No music, no people around, no thoughts. The way I prefer it. I should soak it all in before Yamaguchi starts orbiting me. Getting too close too often. That twink can't leave me alone for the life of him.

—RUNNING TO PRACTICE—

... don't think.

—PRACTICE // 5:53AM.—

Im early. Nauseous, but I'm dramatic. My brain won't stop.. running. Do I even want it to?

—PRACTICE // 6:03AM—

ASAHI: "Tsukkishima! Mornin'!"

I completely ignore him. Why? Who knows. It doesn't matter. He says that to everyone. And he's stopping me from focusing. I don't need his extra obstacles.

ASAHI: "Tsukkishima? You okay? You look mad."

"Yeah? It's not my mission everyday to say good morning to everyone. That doesn't mean I'm angry, It just means I don't care. Use your brain."

Wow. I guess I'm moody today. I didn't mean to snap back that hard. I almost feel bad for the guy.

ASAHI: "alright, man."

He looks a bit upset.

YAMAGUCHI: "Tsukki! What's up?"

"Ah, nothing. Just waiting for everyone to get here. What'd you have for breakfast today?"

What?? Wtf is going on? Why did I ask that? Seriously? "What did you have for breakfast today?" Are you shitting me?  Great. Fucking gay. I hate him. He's such a.. I can't say that.

YAMAGUCHI: "I had Cheerios, what about you?"

I don't want to continue this pointless conversation. I'm never going to care or need the information of what yamaguchi ate for breakfast. This is so stupid.

YAMAGUCHI: "Tsukki?"

"Huh? Oh I had.. captain crunch."

I lied. I ate Cheerios too. There's no point in saying I also had cheerios, because I already know how the conversation goes from there. Some stupid brainless shit like "what? We ate the same thing? Crazy! Small world, huh? I love blah blah blah ..." and I don't feel like doing Jack shit with a side of fuckall today.

—STARTING TRAINING—

During a drill, I spike the ball hard, right past Hinata. He gives me a wide-eyed look, and for a second, I almost feel bad. Almost. But then I remember that this is volleyball, not a therapy session.

"Nice spike, Tsukishima," Daichi says, a little too cheerfully.

"Thanks, revelation." I reply, rolling my eyes. "Maybe next time, Hinata will actually jump high enough to block it."

Jesus. Where did that come from? Even I can admit that was a bit too much. It just kind of spills out. Whatever. I need to focus. This is volleyball. They'll be fine. Being a bit more rude today isn't gonna break their little hearts. I can't afford to get soft. Not now.

Hinata and most people who heard me are a bit shocked, because they don't expect me to be the nicest guy ever, but they probably didn't expect that either. Get your head in the game.

DAICHI: "Uh.. alright tsukkishima."

HINATA: "um.. I'll hit the next one, I promise."

Suddenly yamaguchi appears next to me. Shit, I think he heard me.

YAMAGUCHI: "Hey, Tsukki.. are you good?"

He puts his hand on my shoulder, and I immediately slap it away. Half the gym is silent and staring at me with the same stupid expression. They're concerned. Why? Why now are they so interested in what I'm feeling? So dramatic. And god, so fucking stupid.

"Get your hands off me. People are watching, don't make me look like you."

...Fuck.

Yamaguchi starts looking at me like everyone else, but this time it feels weird. I feel like I shouldn't be so mean to the person that stuck with me all these years, he deserves some credit.

Everyone's staring. I hate it.

Later on, I get the cleanup duty.

Daichi walks over to me.

DAICHI: "need a hand?"

"What, you think I'm incapable of using my hands? It's a one person job. I'm not building a country."

DAICHI: ".. Tsukkishima, you act like you dont care but I know you do. You're working hard and I can see it. Just don't overwork yourself."

"Oh really? Maybe because I don't care. Maybe I act like I don't care because I genuinely don't care. Stop saying nice things so you can feel better about yourself. It doesn't work on me. For the last time, I don't need your pity."

I feel like I beat the guy into the ground. I need to take a breath and calm the fuck down before I'm kicked out.

Daichi doesn't respond this time, he just leaves.  For whatever reason, the millisecond he leaves, I just stare. I stare and then shake hard. With absolutely no reason to. This is all my doing.
I can't- fuck- why am i-
Stop shaking, goddamn it. Get up.

Of course, yamaguchi walks in. Perfect. But, I have good reflexes and the second I heard a nearby sound go back to a stone face.
to my worst fear, he hugs me.

I go stiff. For a millisecond it happens. My body reacts up and down my spine. I feel trapped. A second too long. Shove him before he sees.

"Get off of me!"
I push him hard. He stumbles.

"Please! Just let it happen!"

"I said no! Fuck off!"

I push him again, but my voice scares him more than my hands do.

He stops and looks at me, genuinely concerned.
I should apologize. ...But that's not who I am.
So I walk away.