Abnormal Little Me (Completed)

Chapter 48: A Three Years Old Doll

Hey guys! I'm doing a lot better and it is such a relief. I don't know how long I would have been able to continue asking members of my family to open the fridge door for me. This is yet another emotional chapter :) I absolutely adore writing those <3 Hopefully you like reading them as well because it won't be the last. As always, love you all <3 Don't forget to vote and comment!

After the Henina's incident, the protections around my room were maxed out. No one was allowed in our room without Rilos' approval. At first, I was constantly surrounded, even during my showers, by at least one of the girls in case I had a relapse and accidentally tried to kill myself. It soon became clear that I wouldn't, so I was allowed more personal space. It came as a deep relief. Don't get me wrong, I love the girls dearly, but sometimes, I need moments alone to think. In those moments, I would try to resonate with Keeshee who, despite my pleas, wouldn't give Rilos a chance and stayed hidden within me. I would also think about Rilos' attitude towards me since the talk we had. I knew that he was terrified of scaring me, but he was acting so distant that it was hurting me more than doing me good. Keeshee wasn't helping either. She was still wary around him but would amplify the need I had for physical contacts from him at the same time. To say I was a mess would be an understatement.
One night, I reached my patience limit and exploded with emotions. He was not expecting this and, honestly, neither was I. We had finished eating and were sitting in the garden, reading. My legs were getting cramped so I extended them, "accidentally" brushing Rilos' legs in the process. He apologized before moving further away from me.
"Enough. ENOUGH, Rilos!"
I jumped on him, making him tumble backwards. I pinned his arms on either sides of his face. He opened his mouth to say something.
"No. Listen to me. I've had enough of you handling me like I'm some kind of porcelain doll. I'm not. Yeah, I look broken, but I'm not. I'm a rag doll whose limbs have been teared off and you know what, I can be sewn back together. However, you staying far from me and not touching me is not helping. I need physical contact, Rilos. Touches, embraces and most importantly, I need your love. I'm not made to be put on a pedestal. I need you to make me feel loved, not make me feel like I'm merely there for admiration purposes."
My voice broke as tears fell on Rilos' face sporadically.
"I'm not broken anymore, Rilos. Yes, I need stitches. And yes, it's going to leave some scars, but it's not my fault that they're there. I need to know that you are going to be able to look past them because that's what I'm going to do. I've spent the first 18 years of my life with no human warmth and no contacts other than to get beaten until I lost consciousness. When you got me out, I experienced what it was to have friends, a family and someone who loved me. Don't take these away from me because you think that love can break me. Love doesn't break things, it repairs them, make them grow and blossom. If love breaks something, it wasn't love in the first place. I'm not broken anymore, but I need you to help me heal, not leave me alone to do it by myself. It doesn't work that way. Even if this stupid wolf doesn't want to see it, she needs you. I need you."
His face was wet, not only from my tears, but from his as well. I let go of his wrists, trying to wipe my face.
"Come here, sweetheart."
He pulled me down, so I'd lay down on his torso, and encircled my body with his arms.
"I'm sorry that you felt that way, Lyra. I didn't know that me not touching you was hurting you so much. How long as this been going on?"
"Since the day after the meeting with Satie, Talia and Vriany."
"Lyra, that was weeks ago. Why didn't you tell me before?"
"I thought that you would come around, but you didn't. I'm not used to sharing my emotions, Rilos. If I was happy, Dark-Soul would take away the source of it. Making me feel pain and sadness was encouraged. Fear was his weapon of choice, so I had to keep those in check. Love and compassion were crushed when I was three. He would use all of my emotions against me, so I bottled them up."
"What happened when you were three?"
"I had this maid who took care of me and showered me with love. She would tell me stories about the world outside the castle and would secretly bring me food and sweets. She wasn't scared by the fact that I could change and would play with Keeshee, although I didn't have a name for her at that point. I knew that she had started to pick up that the conditions I was living in weren't normal so I told her about my powers and my soul-mate. She believed me and told me that she was going to talk to someone who would get me out; someone who was more powerful than Dark-Soul. I think she was talking about you. At that moment, he appeared in my bedroom. He broke her neck, which, of course, didn't kill her, but I didn't know that, and thought she was dead. He brought the both of us in the dungeons and I tasted to re-education for the first time. He kept looking at her and saying: "It's on you. This is your doing." I thought he was talking to me, but it was directed to her all along."
"What did he do to you?"
"I remember him breaking my arm. Whips. Fire was his favourite weapon. Magic fire is hard to heal. When he was done, I don't know how long after he started, he decapitated her. From that moment on, I learned not to talk to anyone about my powers and not let them get close to me emotionally. That was the toughest part. Although I'm different, I'm still a werewolf. I needed, need, a connection. I was so alone, suffering. Don't isolate me, Rilos. I don't want to feel this way again."
"You won't, I promise. Tell me where the limits are and I'll do everything in my power to make you feel loved within those."
"No kissing or further until I make the first move."
"Alright. No matter how distant I look, you're always inside my heart, taking more and more space every time I see you. It wasn't my intention to push you away. I thought you needed time to adjust and think about where you stood in relation to me. Since you seem to have decided that you belong next to me, you better believe that I'm never letting you slip away from that place."
He kissed the tip of his fingers and gently placed them on my lips.
"I love you, Lyra. Forever."