The Secrets My Four Walls Keep

Eighteen

Raelynn was getting more and more irritated. Montgomery is driving her absolutely insane. He says that he wants to have a baby, she's trying to give him that, but he's just being so difficult about it. He acts like she's asking too much out of him but damn.. does he want to reach their goal or not? She feels like she's had to turn into a fucking Nazi to keep him on track. He's just become so laid back and lazy about this whole thing. It was really hurting her feelings because even though she hasn't told him that she's doing this because she feels indebted to him due to him saving her life, he should still see how much it means to her and take it more seriously.

She felt like her marriage was slowly falling apart but she didn't know what else to do. He's told her so many times that he wants another baby, so she feels like she has no other choice but to do this. She just hopes and prays that once she's pregnant and is able to give him what he wants and then the stress of everything will go away and they can go back to being a normal, happy, loving couple. She hates the way they've been fighting and it's breaking her heart but she knows that she just has to push through. They went through something so terrible and she feels like the only way to truly heal all of them and get over what they went through, is to grow their family and have another baby. All three of them were in full agreement of this, even before they got to New York. So she can't give up now.

Several months have gone by and each month, she starts her period and is forced to remember her fertility struggles. It hurts and it's a hard pill for her to swallow but she just keeps trucking on. Justin talked to her a few months ago about needing to tone it down some and she's tried to but how can she settle down whenever she's fighting so hard to get everyone to their goal? She feels like she's fighting on behalf of everyone. Herself, Montgomery, Justin, and even Addilyn. They had a plan, a plan that got messed up by her fertility issues, but a plan nonetheless. She will not stop until she's pregnant and is able to give her family the gift that they've been waiting for.

She tossed the negative pregnancy tests in the trash and then made her way out of the bathroom. Yet again, she had false symptoms only to discover that she still isn't pregnant. Sometimes she thinks she's pregnant and then starts her period as soon as she goes to take the test. Sometimes, she manages to take the test but it's still negative and then she starts her period within the next couple of days. Sometimes she's a little bit extra moody and emotional and assumes that it may be a symptom of pregnancy but then it turns out that it's just the extra stress. One time, she threw up a couple of days in a row and thought that maybe this was it, only to find out that she had a stomach bug. She's had plenty of things happen that led her to believe that she may be pregnant, only to have something happen each time that led to the same ending. She's not pregnant.

She made her way out of her bedroom and then downstairs and into the kitchen. She walked in and found Montgomery cooking dinner for everyone. "Would you like some help?" She asked in a whisper, causing him to turn around to look at her. "I've got it." He mumbled before turning back around and continuing what he was doing. She bit her lip and moved around on her feet some before speaking up again. "I would like to help, babe.." "I don't want your help, Raelynn." He cut her off. She felt tears filling her eyes and she bit her lip harder. She knows that she's been a little bit tough to deal with over the past months but she really is just trying to make him happy at the end of the day. Once it's all over with, it will be more than worth it and he'll understand.

She kept standing there, not doing or saying anything, which caused him to turn around to look at her again. "Go watch TV or something." He said, wanting to get her out of the kitchen so he doesn't have to take any risk of her picking a fight with him. That's just about all she does these days.. pick fights with him, treat him shitty, and try to get pregnant. "You don't want me in here.. do you?" She asked timidly, shifting around on her feet again. He stared at her, feeling bad for how he felt but knowing that her own actions have caused this, before he finally nodded. "I'd rather you just go in the other room." He admitted. More tears filled her eyes but she nodded while staring down at her feet before she turned around and walked off into the living room. She felt like she didn't have any other option but to just leave him be and hope that things can eventually be fixed.