Undercurrent

Chapter 25

I don't think I even thought about where I was going until I got to the top of the cliff path. The rain had started again as I'd been running but I hadn't noticed that my clothes were soaked through.

I'd just had to get out of there. I needed to get away, to be alone. I wasn't completely sure what I was feeling: hurt, embarrassed, betrayed? A combination of all three.

Mostly though, I was angry.

Really bloody angry.

Not with Ro. I wasn't angry with her. I was devastated that she'd hidden things from me, and I had no idea why she'd been encouraging me to feel whatever I felt for Ollie. Did she want me to embarrass myself? Had I upset her somehow, and she wanted to hurt me in return? I didn't know. Either way, it wasn't her I was angry with.

No. I was angry – furious – with myself.

Thunder crackled in the distance as if to sound its agreement. I vaguely hoped it wouldn't come this way, but I couldn't bring myself to care too much.

I slowed down as I reached the top of the path down to the sand. The rain had made it treacherous underfoot and I didn't have the patience to go slowly. I needed to get down there, down to where I needed to be. I just hoped Zach was down there.

I felt my feet slide on the wet stones and struggled to regain my balance. I cursed myself for thinking that at least when I'd fallen on the ice earlier, Ollie had been there to help pick me back up. I tried hard not to think too much about how he'd stayed with me, held my hand.

Tears mixed with heavy rain as I tried to blink both out of my eyes. I steadied myself and carried on, thinking that this was the third time in my life that I'd found myself here in torrential rain. Both of the last two times had ended badly, one more so than the other, so this probably didn't bode well. At this point, though, I didn't really care.

"Nina?" A voice carried on the wind as I reached the sand. It seemed to crumble around my feet, slowing me down as I walked, or tried to walk, across it.

I looked around as best I could, but the wind was whipping my hair into my eyes and the rain was coming down in sheets that were almost opaque.

"Zach!" I called out. "Zach! Is that you?"

The air howled around me but nobody returned my call. "Zach!" I tried again, trying to make my way towards the cliff wall, to try and shield myself against the elements. Nothing came back.

The ground below me – a mix of sand and stone – seemed to give way beneath my feet with every step I took, slowing me down in my efforts to get to what might have been some kind of safety. Or at least, as close as I was going to get in the weather tonight.

After battling with the ferocious wind, I managed to get my back against the sheer drop of rocks. I found myself edging along it, towards the caves in the cliffside. A sharp pang hit me in the stomach as I remembered that the last time I was in these caves, Ollie was busy saving my life.

Luckily, in a way, I didn't have long to think about it too much. The wind was lifting the waves from the sea and the spray, mixed with the heavy rain, hit me like bullets until I finally made it into one of the caves.

Taking a moment to catch my breath, I looked out onto the beach, watching as the wind threw sand through the air. Where was Zach? I was sure he'd be here. I needed him to be here.

I crouched down against the rocky wall, hugging my knees towards me. I don't know how long I sat there, listening to the storm outside. It could have been seconds, minutes, hours; I had no idea. I lost myself thinking about what had happened that evening. Well, it wasn't really just that evening, was it? Clearly the signs had all been there, I just didn't want to see them.