Chapter 70

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So many pieces to this war were moving at once that Astrid simply couldn't keep track of them. With McCreary's men in control now, she had felt torn now. Supporting Octavia felt like a fools move since the added exception Octavia would kill her. But she'd rather die than support McCreary.

She had no strategic approach to amend the upcoming violence. So, she just sat with her wolves along the cold stone watching Roan until woke.

Going to the caves that they used to sleep in before the world ended felt like a harsh wave of nostalgia. One of her furs was still laid on the ground from six years ago. The limestone drawing she'd (poorly) done of the wolves and Polis were smudged. Nearly unscathed from the past six years.

She had watched Roan slumber throughout the night just as he had been for the previous day. Apparently, he had only woken briefly when their group arrived at the cave. Dazed and confused and resistant to Raven trying to calm him. Even more resistant when he saw Shaw and Echo carrying him on their makeshift gurney.

He didn't wake until that morning. Astrid had been outside for three minutes when Raven fetched her frantically. Hand and hand, they had sprinted back into the cave to find Roan stumbling, hand braced against the wall and Murphy for support.

"You're awake." Astrid eyes lit up as their eyes locked on each other. She took one step forward before she realized something was wrong. Specifically in the way he looked at her.

"You lied to me." He whispered hoarsely. Disgust plagued his face, subtle but still noticeable. She tried to piece together what he had meant, but only realized the seriousness when Roan slipped her leather clad journal from his waistband.

"How did you-"

"No. You don't get to ask questions here." He covered his mouth, coughing violently into his palm. A small smear of blood appeared on his hand. Astrid stalked closer to help, but Roan only shifted farther away.

"What is he talking about?" Raven interjected. Roan tossed the journal towards her. Astrid pressed her lips into a fine line, unable to look as Raven cracked into the last final pages. She looked back to Astrid with a wide eyed expression, "You had more dreams."

"Not just more, but different ones." Roan scoffed. "Ones that would have been important in knowing."

"Roan, how could I?" Defeat laced every word, "I didn't want you to worry. With the army and-"

"And helping Diyoza? I heard you guys talking about it." Those disgusted eyes slid over to her, which she returned a sinister stare, "What about our people? We were King and Queen, once. What about Azgeda?"

Cold, hard betrayal struck her low in the gut. Whatever nerve he hit sent Astrid beyond the point of frustration. Just snapping into that pure rage.

"I am doing this for our people, Roan. Everything I do is for them. I killed your mother for them." She pulled down her shirt collar to expose the faded, but strong, scars along her neck. "I let Ontari and ALIE torture me just to buy our friends more time to save our people."

Roan just blinked. A lingering shock washed over his face for a brief moment before he resumed that pissed expression. She only mimicked it, looking down at him with that look she always got when they argued.

Except this was much deadlier. After everything she endured, everything he witnessed, he was able to throw it in her face as if he knew nothing about her. Like those years and traumatic moments meant nothing to either of them. It shattered her heart just to think that. That after all those years of comforting Astrid against the crimes and heinous violence she committed, Roan decided it wasn't enough.

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