Chapter 5

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We had our routine maths tutor session scheduled and I was sat in the library waiting for Illyria to finish football training. I had been sober for 5 days and it was the hardest few days I'd ever had. Illyria was very supportive and I found ourselves getting closer and closer.

"I'm sorry for keeping you waiting" Illyria rushed in evident she was out of breath. "I didn't even get time to shower so I apologise for the sweatiness"

"Ew lovely, what happened to being punctual?" I teased and Illyria just grinned. "How was it?" I asked genuinely interested.

"It was good, it was hard in the heat but I'm old news now so everyone's started showing me a bit of respect" Illyria smiled. "The coach is super happy with me and has said if I keep it up I will get a scholarship for university"

"Well we better get you that math grade then" I grinned as I pulled out the work book. I had a new found passion for teaching and I was kinda good at it. Illyria had massively improved since our first session which was amazing to see. Maybe I had found my calling.

We only stayed in the library for an hour as it was getting late and Illyria needed to shower and get changed into some comfy clothes. It was moments like this that I would normally be smoking a joint. I desperately needed to find something else to distract myself with. I walked Illyria back to her dorm and as much as I wanted to stay in her company, I also wanted to give her some space so I headed to the skate park, hoping Tyler would be there.

Luckily as I arrived I could hear his familiar laugh. As I turned the corner I could see him sat, joint in hand, with his usual group of friends.

"Hey Ash come over here" I heard him call. As much as I wanted to be around him I wasn't sure how I was going to deal with the temptation of smoking a joint. I headed up the ramp to sit with them. "Here have some I've had too much already" Tyler handed me the joint and I looked at it for a second. As much as I wanted it I knew I couldn't let Illyria down. But then again how would she know?

"I'm actually trying to stop" I responded and saw the horrified look on Tyler's face.

"you what" he asked in shock. "What's happened to my Ashley?"

"It's not a big deal I'm just taking a break for a while" I smiled.

"Wow I'm proud of you Ash, how long has it been? 1 hour?" He laughed.

"5 days longer than you" I snapped back.

"Fair play, I would say I would quit with you but there's no chance I'm afraid" he said as he took a long puff. Tyler had smoked as long as I had but he never touched anything else and he also didn't drink so it never caused him a problem, apart from with his bank account. Luckily for him his parents were just as rich as mine and they unintentionally funded his bad habits.

I lit a cigarette to try get my mind off things it was better than nothing. I skated for a while until it finally got dark and it was time to sleep. Sleep was the hardest part of the day and I had always struggled.

I laid in bed staring at the ceiling, my mind was racing and overthinking. I got my phone out hoping I had revived a message from a certain brunette but unfortunately my phone was blank.

Ashley: are you awake?

I sent, not sure if I was going to get a reply.

Illyria: just about, are you okay? X

Ashley: I can't sleep my mind is racing :(

Illyria: do you want to talk about it? X

Ashley: it's okay I don't want to stop you from sleeping.

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⏰ Last updated: May 07 ⏰

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