Blind to Happiness (Lookism)

Open the First Chapter

➤ Content warning: slight mention of depression (more implied than anything else, by mentioning some behavior that can be linked to a depressive state or a mental illness)

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The dark, subdued, very faint light shines through your eyelids, a dark orange hue seeming to shine upon your closed eyes. An unfamiliar warmth spreads through your body, the everlasting coldness seeming to melt away in the sunlight and its comforting aura. The limbs of your body that previously felt like they were missing now seem overly present and impossible to ignore. Each of your muscles tensing sent a sensation of needles picking into your skin; your fingertips seemed frozen, stuck into an ice block.

Warm blood was newly flowing through your veins at a rhythmic pace, allowing you to feel alive again, your heart pumping wildly into your chest. Its thumping sound echoed in your ears, along with your labored breathing and a cold sweat breaking out as if you had just woken up from a nightmare. This foreign warmth was almost comforting—a wave of comfort and reassurance that covered your entire being protectively—an embrace a mother would give to her newborn child. The paralyzing and lonely cold you felt when death drowned you in a pool of forgotten dreams and ambitions was washed away suddenly, like a miracle.

Your awakening in an unfamiliar place was the last thing you expected... Actually, you expected nothing but darkness, since you weren't supposed to ever be able to open your eyes again. Taking such a radical decision a few minutes ago shouldn't have led to this situation, but has it really been only a few minutes? Honestly, you couldn't know if a minute passed, or hours, or even perhaps days. Unlike the last time you opened your eyes to see the gloomy life you had to endure, the world now felt bright and colorful. You were able to smell and sense the gentle breeze and pleasantly hot air engulfing the room in a sunny-like atmosphere.

With a careful breath, you tentatively moved around, trying to regain control over your fingers and legs. Slowly sitting up in what seemed like a bed, a smooth, silky texture grazed your palms and fingers, your limbs sinking into the welcoming pit of warmth.

Tentatively moving around, trying to regain control over your fingers and legs, you slowly sit up in what seems to be a bed. The light was too bright to open your eyes yet, so you patted the surrounding area with your hands, recognizing the textures and fabrics with your fingertips. The pillow is covered by a pillowcase made of silk, and the cotton sheets and fluffy blanket are at the edge of the foot of the bed. The shock and confusion due to your sudden sleepless state vanished, leaving a longing for human presence and hope for understanding.

When you open your eyes, the sunlight seems less burning as your lashes shield your delicate eyes, like a thick veil covering countless truths and lies. With batted breaths, you look around, wary of the unknown environment and furniture, despite the room seeming so cozy and heartwarming, like a cocoon of heartfelt welcome. The bedroom was plain, with most of the furniture being cold and white, their shapes neat and angular. But the way the sunlight shines on them highlights the precise and deliberately well-placed items, creating reflections on the walls and the mirror. Green plants rested on the windowsill, inside and outside the room; there were more plants on the outer corners of the desk and on top of the wardrobe facing the bed, but you also saw pictures of a man looking exactly like you, along with another familiar man. On a huge shelf were multiple books lined by author name, from many different genres, ranging from psychology to history and romance.

The room had an aesthetic that suited your taste, or actually, something that you could have organized and placed there yourself. As your legs unfreeze slowly, allowing more movement, you finally stand up. Your legs felt much weaker than usual, so each of your steps was careful and slow to not put too much pressure and tension on your muscles. You walked past the desk, looked over the collection of books, and stopped in front of the adjacent mirror. In the reflective glass, you saw yourself in a surprisingly much healthier state than the last time you ever saw yourself; you genuinely looked alright. The fact alone that your eyes looked so bright, so... alive, gave so much life to your own self, which almost made you tear up.