Me without You

Prologue

Anya~

My mother had always told me that I would never be loved.

In my mind it was true. No one had ever loved me before, no one loved me now either. If I had no love as a child how could I gain something so precious now that I was an adult who had never felt it? It all seemed impossible so I took her words as gospel.

She obviously included herself in those words; she had no care for me. I knew that. By now it was a harsh reality that I lived with and seemed almost to become my own version of normal. When I was home she ignored my presence and acted as If I was not created from her own womb. If I was acknowledged then it would contain very few words, none of sentiment but that was usual. I treasured her voice when I did hear it for I was never sure when I would hear it again.

She was also away often on business trips. Her job as a fashion designer was stressful for her and she would be left tired if she did return with time to see me. I used this reasoning for her actions. I could never be ungrateful towards her because it was her money that allowed me to live as I did. I heard many of my classmates describe my house as posh and expensive, along with other rather nasty words. But I knew that my surroundings were extravagant and could not complain for there was always food in the cupboards.

As I sat on my window seat looking out of the window at the car being packed with my mother's bags, I prepared myself for our farewell. They may have been few but they never seemed to go very well. I hoped that this time was different. For both of our sakes. I hated making mother angry but it appeared to be a talent of mine.

"Miss Anya, sorry to disturb you, would please come down and send Mrs Courtney off. She is leaving now." Said a voice from behind me.

Standing in my doorway was the housekeeper, Mrs Lee. She was a kind old woman, she visited me once a week on Sundays when mother wasn't here but when she was I saw her all of the time. Sometimes she would bring some of her home baked brownies, a favourite of mine.

I turned around in my seat and stood up to answer her. "I'll head down immediately, thank you for telling me." I headed for the door as she started walking away and down the opposite corridor that I needed.

"Always, see you in a week, dear!" she called, her voice echoed off the empty walls and faded quickly.

Stepping carefully down the polished metal stairs, I headed for the main entrance. Mother stood by the door with her coat on and facing my direction. I noticed that all of her bags were gone and hoped that I hadn't taken too long to get downstairs. The west wing had a longer route than the east but it was where I had my room

"I'm going to Italy this time, then I shall be going to the studio for a while after. I shouldn't have to tell you not to misbehave so I won't. You know what is expected of you. Call if there is anything absolutely urgent and I will answer. Only an emergency though, you know how busy I am." I certainly did know, "If you need anything then I'm quite sure that Mrs Lee can take care of it. I shall let her know when I'm coming home for certain and she will inform you." With those words she started to turn away but I felt the need to say something, even if it was an acknowledgment of her words.

"Of course, mother. I hope your journey is a good one, travel safe. Do try not to overexert yourself, perhaps you should take a holiday for a short while. Maybe that would help." I was satisfied with my reply, despite being nervous for speaking up when it had looked like I was being dismissed.

Mother turned back to me slightly after stopping upon hearing my voice, I didn't know if she would be happy with me. By this point my hands were shaking slightly so I tucked them behind my back and held them together in hope to quell my uneasiness.

"You think I should take a holiday? Do you not know who pays for your clothes and food, who keeps you alive and so spoilt? How dare you think I can afford to take time out of a schedule that you know nothing about and ask me to take a break. I can't create time, if I did have time I hope you didn't think that I would spend a second more than needed with you. It's a very selfish suggestion."

She turned quickly, with her body facing me I could see the hate and distaste on her face. I braced myself for her anger and shrank into myself slightly. I had done it again - another ruined farewell. How stupid I was. I felt ashamed by my words now; I could see how I had said something selfish.

She brought her hand up and brought it down again with lightning speed. The pain in my cheek was throbbing and sharp. I didn't move my jaw because the pain would only worsen.

"You should think twice before speaking. One would think that you'd know by now that your words bring me no pleasure. I shall see you once I return Anya, and then we will have to speak about how you mind your words."

She was gone by the time her words had faded from my mind. I still stood in the entrance with my head facing my right shoulder. I sighed before heading back up to my room, there wasn't much I could do for my cheek.

Alone again.

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WORD COUNT: 1007

Okay so that's the first chapter, hope you like it.

If so, say it. If not, say it anyway.

Thanks for reading!

Hoping to get the second one up soon. Btw... I think the song is beautiful and goes with the song.

See ya soon :)

~Eivissa~