Uncontrollable Feeling

Chapter 39

Kristal Anderson

I was frozen in place. Staring at him as his words echoed in my ears.

I was met with nothing but silence. He wouldn't even meet my eyes, keeping them off to the side. Regret was written all over his face. "What did you just say?"

All he did was shake his head, still refusing to meet my gaze. The world around us was blending together, making me feel dizzy but I did my best to hold it together, planting my feet firm on the ground.

"Don't," The strangest feeling had overtaken me, I didn't know if I wanted to throw up or cry or scream or crawl into a deep dark where the truth would never find me. Or maybe I wanted to do all those things at once. "Don't try to pretend like you didn't say anything, I heard you. Say it. . . I need you to say that again," I needed to hear that again, I needed the confirmation that my ears weren't playing tricks on me.

He finally found the courage to meet my gaze, he shook his head once again, "Forget I said anything; for your sake and mine," He made an effort to leave but I spoke again.

"Uncle Greg, who killed her?" Those words came out with a bit of struggle, the words felt stuck to my throat refusing to make it up to my lips. Just as I uttered them, something clicked in my brain. Uncle Greg left very soon after my mom died and he was never seen again, like he was running away from something or someone. What reason he might have had to kill her, I didn't know but sometimes people didn't need a reason to kill, they just did. "... You, it was you wasn't it? You killed–"

He took a quick abrupt step in my direction, "What? No, of course not," He said sounding genuinely perplexed that I'd think that.

"But you left soon after her death a-and now you're telling me that my father didn't kill her–"

"I didn't leave by choice,"

I scoffed shaking my head not really sure what to do with myself, the information that I was receiving was too much for me to handle. My heart ached as it screamed for me to stop while I was ahead because deep down it knew that finding out the truth would be far too painful. "I don't understand, this. . .this doesn't make any sense. Why would you leave then?"

"Because I was threatened,"

"By who?"

Instead of answering me, he averted his gaze once again and in that very moment I wanted to scream. So very loudly to let loose some of the frustration I felt because of this whole situation. I physically couldn't handle being kept in the dark for much longer, in that very moment I felt like a clueless puppet living a life that wasn't fully theirs.

His eyes roamed our surroundings as he spoke, "This isn't the place to be talking about this and I don't-"

"I don't care! I don't care if anyone hears, I just want the truth!" My patience was running thin and it was clear that he was trying to find an excuse to stop talking.

He took a deep breath before he spoke, "Jenna, she. . . advised me to leave after I found out the truth,"

Another piece of information that felt like a punch to the gut. "Aunt Jenna threatened you?" That sounded just as ridiculous coming from my mouth as it did coming from his. He nodded, confirming the information. I let out a humourless chuckle, "And why would she do that? Do you know how broken she was when you left? I watched her with my own two eyes when she cried her eyes out the day you left," It was then that I realized just how much I was betraying Aunt Jenna by giving this man my time of day, the man who left her with so little explanation. "You know what, I think you're lying to me, this is probably some type of sick joke to you-"