Uncontrollable Feeling

Chapter 13

Kristal Anderson

This was a bad idea. A horrible idea.

So many things could go wrong yet here I was, standing in front of my full-length mirror staring back at my reflection. The black A-line dress I'd worn for my high school senior year prom fit much tighter than I remembered, my breasts were holding on for dear life inside the heart-shaped cups.

The way it hugged them nearly made me reconsider my outfit choice but then I remembered that my options were limited. All of my other dressy dresses were unbearably tight on me, these past three months haven't been doing my weight any favors. What little confidence I had left inside me was slowly chipped away with every dress that I tried that no longer fit me like a glove. 

Right as I was about to give up and wear my usual sweatpants and sweater, I landed upon my prom dress. The dress was gorgeous, I had to give my younger self that. The corset bustier was tight but definitely manageable, the dress ended right at my ankles making it not too extravagant for the occasion.

I paced around the length of my bedroom trying to play out every possible scenario in my head. Though an encounter with my father would be a pretty tragic end to the night, Aunt Jenna catching me in the act seemed far worst than anything my father could ever do to me. Picturing the look of complete and utter disappointment on her face was enough to send my body into a cold sweat.  

She wasn't keeping me hostage so realistically I could pack my bags and leave whenever I wanted to, but that would be the biggest fuck you on my part. So I knew that if she caught me, there would be no coming back from it, it would change our relationship forever and it would show her that I was willing to put all of her effort to waste just because of a man that I barely knew.

With that thought in mind, I picked up my phone and began typing.

Me: Aiden this was a bad idea. We can't.

My finger hovered over the send button far longer than necessary, a twisted part of my brain still so eager to find out what it was like to do something crazy. What it was like to break rules and only worry about the consequences when you felt them. What it was like to be rebellious.

That, dark, twisted part of me had convinced me that I needed this. That I need to feel free and alive again, even if it was just for a few hours. That I'd go insane trapped between these four walls.

My thumb moved like it had a mind of its own, deleting one letter at a time as the screams from the logical part of my brain became more and more quiet, muffled by the excitement that began cursing through my veins.

I needed this.

And if it all went south, at least I was doing something that made me. . .feel again. This excitement, the nervousness, the butterflies, all of it would make it all worth it.

I glanced at the time and realized that it was nearly time to go so I changed back to my regular clothes; grey sweatpants and a matching grey hoodie. I packed my backpack with my dress, my matching black 3' pumps, and some makeup and other feminine essentials.

I slid the bag under my bed just in case and made my way to my door opening it and making my way down the hall to Aunt Jenna's room. To my dismay, the fluorescent light of her room was still leaking from the small gap between the door and the floor which told me she was still awake.