Across the Stars

Chapter 29

Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi didn't have an attachment to the Duchess Satine of Mandalore.

At least, that's what he tried so hard to convince everyone of. Most of all himself.

Attachment was not the Jedi way.

And yet...as much as he had tried to drill that into his padawan, he blamed the lesson not sticking on himself. Obi-Wan had always struggled with his own attachments, though never romantically.

That was, until Satine, that stubborn, annoying, brave, empathetic, determined, and frustratingly beautiful woman waltzed into young padawan Kenobi's life.

Quite literally that is.

Qui-Gon had tried to get Obi-Wan to cheer up at the prospect of what he was sure to be another boring diplomatic mission, but when the master told his young padawan that they would be attending a ball to honor the young rule of the new Duchess of Mandalore it took all of Qui-Gon's skills as a negotiator to convince Obi-Wan not only to attend the ball, but to dismiss the dull Jedi robes and wear the stiff ceremonial robes that had been given to them upon arrival.

Of course, the one thing that Qui-Gon had failed to mention was that the Duchess of Mandalore wasn't an old woman with bad breath and a tendency to pinch Obi-Wan's cheeks red, laugh too loud, and overall be unable to speak about anything other than tedious politics, but a woman around his age with piercing blue eyes and blond hair that was held back in a silver circlet, dressed in a silver and ballgown that looked like a waterfall as it glistened and shimmered under the chandelier.

As the visiting Jedi dignitaries, they would be expected to share a dance, and Obi-Wan could have sworn that Qui-Gon was smirking at his flushed padawan as he turned the honor over to him to waltz the duchess around the room.

That night, everything changed for Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan who had never thought he could be tempted by romantic attachment found himself despite his best efforts enamored with the woman before him.

It didn't help that shortly after they ended up on the run for about 4 months together, dealing with a rogue group of Mandalorians that stood opposed to Satine's new rule. During this time their quick banter turned into something more, something deeper, and when it was time to leave Mandalore, their role as keepers of the peace fulfilled with Satine steadily returned to her place in power, saying goodbye was the hardest thing Obi-Wan had ever done up to that point in his life.

"Jedi Master Qui-Gon, Padawan Obi-Wan, I must thank you again for your assistance over the past months in what was an unexpected attempted coup." Obi-Wan looked up in surprise at the cold and distant tone in her voice. This wasn't the Satine he knew. But it only took a glance at his master, restored to his place at Obi-Wan's side to remind him to lower his gaze from Satine's face, to be the submissive servant of the Duchess, nothing more.

"The pleasure is ours Duchess. We hope that the Jedi and the Mandalorians can form a better alliance now that your rule has been reinstated." Qui-Gon held out his hand in an inviting gesture, hoping Satine would take it and signal this new alliance could indeed be formed.

He was disappointed however, when the Duchess rose and clasped her hands behind her back, her eyes growing distant. "While I will always be grateful for the service you and your padawan have done to Mandalore and to myself, I'm afraid an alliance at this time is not as feasible as when I first invited you to my coronation. You see, there are other groups, stronger than the one we have trounced today, that will take an alliance with the Jedi poorly. I'm afraid during this stage of my tenure as leader of Mandalore, I must keep the emotions and mindsets, however misplaced, of my people towards the Jedi at the forefront of my decision on the matter."

Qui-Gon pursed his lips at the cold dismissal and withdrew his hand. "Very well, my lady. If you should ever reconsider, we would be more than happy to broach the subject again."

Satine inclined her head politely. "Come Obi-Wan, let us go." Qui-Gon turned to leave.

"Just a moment Master Qui-Gon..." Satine's voice caused him to pause and turn back to the Duchess. She hesitated, her eyes unable to meet Obi-Wan's or Qui-Gon's, as if searching for the words she needed in the air around them. "Might I steal a moment of your padawan's time before you leave?"

Qui-Gon was quiet for a moment, his gaze ricocheting between his young padawan who wouldn't take his eyes off the floor in front of them, and the Duchess on the throne. He nodded once slowly, and took his leave of them.

Obi-Wan finally looked up.

Satine's blue eyes pierced his heart. "Obi-Wan." She said softly. Running his name over her tongue, trying to find a way to express how she felt.

"Satine. I-"

She held up her hand and cut him off. Smiling sadly, she walked down from the throne and stood in front of him. She took his hand in hers and ran her thumb over his calloused hand. He took brushed away a strand of hair that had fallen in front of her face, tucking it behind her ear. His hand rested on the back of her neck. Slowly, he moved closer, his lips brushing hers, then he pulled back and gazed into her eyes.

"Ask me to stay." He whispered.

Satine closed her eyes, a single tear rolling down her cheek. For an agonizing moment she said nothing. Then her voice barely above a whisper, "I cannot."

Obi-Wan's gaze fell to her feet. He knew she couldn't. And he could not stay. It could never be.

He raised her hand, still clasped in his, and brushed his lips over her knuckles. "Duchess," he whispered, before turning and fleeing the throne room before she could say anything to bring him back, and before he could convince himself to turn around.

As the now grown-up Satine descended from the ramp on the shuttle, Obi-Wan couldn't stop the pang of sorrow that ran through him whenever he saw her. She would always be the possibility he never could have. The question that would always be left unanswered. But when she turned and walked towards the senate building, there was Anakin.

Stalwart Anakin who despite his faults, never stopped loving Obi-Wan and those around him. Anakin who attached himself fearlessly and completely to those that he cared about and was often a better Jedi for it.

He placed a hand on his padawan's shoulder, and could sense the feeling of understanding and empathy flowing from Anakin through their bond in the force. Attachment was not the Jedi way, but Obi-Wan wouldn't give up his attachment to his brother. And as Ahsoka ran up to join the two of them, Anakin unable to conceal the fondness for his new little sister from his gaze and Obi-Wan realizing for the first time that he had his own force connection with the young padawan, Obi-Wan couldn't stop the feeling of love wash over him for his found family. In this case Obi-Wan knew, the Jedi order was wrong.