new romantics - taylor swift and travis kelce

are you gonna marry, kiss or kill me

 -Taylors Pov-

We get back to the apartment, Thea has been quiet the whole time. she is probably processing everything with the child advocate lawyer, but I wish I knew what was going on inside her head.

"do you want to talk about it?" I say as I take off my shoes in the entryway. She is big enough to take off her own shoes obviously. Some people like to wear shoes inside, I'm just not one of them. it just gets dirty faster and I'm not that big of a fan of cleaning. Sure I have a cleaning lady that comes once a week, but if we wore shoes inside, I would have to clean more often. And who wants mud and dirt dragged around their house? Not me.

"she was nice mommy. But she made me tell all the secrets. Daddy is going to be so mad at me" she sighs and follow me into the kitchen.

"remember how we talked about there being good secrets and bad secrets? Good secrets like what we are getting someone for their birthday. But then there are bad secrets when someone hurts you. the bad secrets, those you can tell a safe adult. You won't get in trouble for telling someone that someone hurt you, never" I tell her and kiss the top of her head.

"do I need to live with daddy? Don't wanna" she pouts, and I brush her hair out of her pretty face. "I hope you don't. but it's not up to me. all we can do is tell the truth to the judge and go from there. But I don't want you to worry about that right now, let the adults worry about it."

I don't want her to carry around worries like that on her little shoulders. She is way too young to have these big worries, I don't want that for her. It makes me sad that these things are even things she knows about. Domestic abuse, not that she knows the word, she knows how that feels, what it looks like.

Sometimes I find myself pushing my own feelings about it under the rug, that it wasn't so bad. That I can handle it. but then I remember that I'm not the only victim in this, there is a little girl affected, and I can't forget that. I can't push it under the rug and pretend it didn't happen, because this little girl had to go through it too.

**

Thea is at home with Michelle, her nanny, while I head to the studio to meet Aaron to write a song. I've had this idea in my head, to write something about Travis, for a while. So I want to get in there and do it. I already have some lyrics planned out, and Aaron sent me a beat I liked, so now we just need to put everything together.

After a day like today, where we have had to deal with the painful past, it's good to shift focus to something positive. It's easier to handle my painful past when I see my good present at the same time. Travis is a good thing in my life, he keeps me grounded and safe. I've never felt like this about anyone I've been with before, and it's slightly terrifying. It scares me because I'm scared to lose him, loose the feeling.

I get there and head inside the studio. There is no one outside so I can slip in unnoticed. I've been here plenty of times before, so I know exactly where to go. Normally when I work with Aaron I will go to Long Pond Studio, but for this trip, I don't have time to drive all the way out there. Thankfully Aaron was in the city for something else anyway, so we loaned Jack's studio to write together.

"hi Taylor," he says when he sees me, and I go in for a hug "hi Aaron. Good to see you. thanks for doing this."

"No worries. I'm always up to making something with you. you know that. but I thought you were in KC for the holidays?" he says, and we both take a seat, me on the couch and he on a rolling chair.

"I was in KC, but then... my lawyer called. Joe is suing for custody, being a pain in my ass, so I had to come here because Thea had to meet with a child advocate lawyer asap. We are going back to KC in the morning" I don't feel like staying here longer than I have to. We could have left right after the meeting between Thea and the lawyer, but I decided to do this instead.