I'M A SURVIVOR
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GENRE
ANGST
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WARNINGS
CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE, DOMESTIC ABUSE
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RELATIONSHIP
N/A
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NOTES
imma be real this is based on one of my diary entries
~☗~
from The Autobiography of Jadey Gressi
People underestimate how much things really affect survivors.
The other day, I started reading a book. Surprising, I know. Then I saw a name. His name. Lorenzo. Just a simple name, a common name. The name of the main character's father.
I couldn't finish the book. All because I saw his name. All because just seeing his name took me back to his house, took me back to his bed, back to his touch.
When I lost my virginity, I was sitting on the couch in the living room, reading. It was the second book in an animal-themed murder mystery series. I was really invested in it.
Then Octavius came in.
He sat beside me and asked what I was doing. I told him. He put his hand on my thigh.
I told him I was reading and he leaned closer, reading over my shoulder.
"Jadey, you're so morbid," he scoffed, taking the book from my hands and putting it on the coffee table. I was pissed, but I didn't do anything since, hey, this guy slammed my sister's face into a burner.
He put an arm around me and pulled me close, suggesting something less morbid I could do with him.
I knew I couldn't say no.
After that, I couldn't sit on the couch. I begged Emelise to sell it. She finally did a week later. We got the leather couch we currently have.
Over ten years later, and I still can't read the series I'd been reading. Every time I look at the book I was reading when it happened, I get sick to my stomach.
I was just a kid. A little girl. Thirteen years old with Octavius, fourteen with Lorenzo.
To this day, I haven't told my mother what they did to me. The monsters are dead, but I still can't bring myself to look Emelise in the eyes and tell her how I was violated.
