As The World Ends

Chapter 12 - Walking Corpse

[TW: Implied eating disorder]

Robin sat criss-cross next to the door.

Alex is through that door.

Their hands were limp in their lap and their head was against the wall.

Alex is behind that wall.

Their eyes were closed, though some stray tears still slipped through.

Those tears are being shed because of Alex.

Robin's hands jumped to their head and they tore at their oily hair, ripping some out.

You haven't washed your hair because of Alex.

"Shut up," Robin snarled.

You're angry because of Alex.

"No, I'm not. Go away."

Alex is dead because of you.

"Alex isn't dead. Aster won't let that happen." They hit their palms against their forehead. "I'm serious. Get the fuck out of my head."

You want me to leave you, just like you left Alex?

Robin's breath hitched. "I didn't leave Alex," they protested. "They voluntarily went after my knife."

You know that's not what I'm talking about. Regardless, you let them do it. You knew what would happen.

"I...didn't...know."

Even you don't believe your own lies anymore.

The clatter of something hitting the floor pulled Robin from their conversation. They looked down the hall to see someone staring at them, eyes wide, while reaching for the the clipboard that had been dropped.

The two stared at each other for several very long, very awkward seconds before Robin jolted up from the floor, fighting off head rush as they stumbled in the opposite direction.

Look at you. Can't even sit in a hallway without messing something up. I bet that guy is going to laugh every time he sees you. Or cringe. Or both.

"Robin?"

Robin stopped running and glanced around. Their vision was slightly hazy, but they could still make out the semi-familiar figure striding towards them. The figure wore a vibrant gold embroidered tunic and plain black pants.

Ah, yes. Alex's plaything.

"Jasmine. Hey. How you doin'?"

Jasmine studied their face and frowned. "Where's Alex? I haven't seen them in, what? Three days?"

It's your fault he hasn't seen Alex.

"Oh. Uh. Jay didn't tell you?" Robin took a steadying breath and carefully pushed off the wall.

"No? Was he supposed to? What happened? Are you okay?"

He's pulling your leg. Alex was the only one that cared about you, and you killed them.

They waved off his concern and gave him a tight smile. "Alex got injured on a mission. They're in surgery right now. No visitors. They'll be fine."

You're lying again. He can tell. Can't you just do something right for once?

"Oh."

"We didn't have time to tell you," Robin added quickly. "We had to leave right after Jay talked to us. Alex would've looked for you if they had the chance."

Alex cared more about Jasmine than you. How pitiful. So easily replaced.

Jasmine nodded slightly, eyes narrowing. "I like your outfit," he remarked absently. "Your hood is a nice shade of red."

"Thanks."

Now you've made it awkward again. Is that all you have to say? Complement him back before he hates you.

"I- uh... I like your earrings," they mumbled. "The gold is a cool touch."

What kind of compliment is that? Everybody wears earrings.

"Thank you."

Robin was about to start walking away when Jasmine spoke again.

"Wanna get some food? I'd wager that you haven't had anything to eat in a while."

No. That's a bad idea. Alex doesn't eat, so you shouldn't either.

"Yeah. Okay. Sure."

He nodded and led the way to the cafeteria.

-

Jasmine took a bite from his burrito. "So," he started, "when did you last take a shower?"

He's saying you look like shit.

The potato chip on its way to Robins mouth slipped from their hand. "What do you mean? I'm fine."

Another lie.

Jasmine raised an eyebrow.

"John is usually here to make sure I take care of myself," Robin admitted. "He takes care of Alex, too. But he...had to go somewhere." They gestured vaguely towards the ceiling.

Smooth.

"Hm." He scrunched his nose and didn't say anything else as they finished eating.

Stop eating. Stop eating. Stop eating. Stop eating. Alex can't eat. You need to suffer with them.

"Speaking of John, I heard that he's due back any minute," Jasmine remarked as the two stood to dispose of their food containers.

Robin's head whipped towards him. "What? Why didn't I hear about this?"

Why didn't you hear about it, huh? Nobody cares enough to tell you anything.

He shrugged, keeping his eyes down. "Nobody's really seen you since you left. Or Jay, for that matter, at least until a few hours ago when something happened that he needed to be present for."

Jay left you alone in that hallway.

"How do you know? You've been here for no more than a week, where are you getting all your info from?"

"Y'know...I'm good at making friends. Oh, there's John now!"

Robin spun around to see someone walking towards them, ever present grin on his face. They barely registered anything else before John's arms were around them and their face was buried in his chest.

Robin was engulfed in John's ethereal embrace, and, for once, the voice was quiet.

Eventually, he pulled away. Staring down into Robin's face, his grin slipped slightly. "Did you forget to sleep?"

Robin nodded guiltily. He nodded too. "It's okay," he murmured, "where's Alex?"

The floodgates opened and Robin started sobbing. John pulled them back into his chest and turned to Jasmine for answers.

"Alex is in surgery. Robin said they got injured. No visitors, apparently."

John blew out his breath. "Does Jay know?"

Jasmine shrugged. "Probably."

"Let's get Robin to our room and talk more there." John gently lifted them up and started walking, Jasmine close behind.

"It'll be okay," John breathed into Robin's ear. "We'll figure this out together."