Vision

Chapter 20 - But You're in My Mind (1:16)

I never knew what it meant to give my heart to someone. I never thought I would know. Didn't have a reason to think I would, until it's gone like a memory, along with the person who holds it. I didn't realize I had until he was gone. I thought it mattered. Thought he cared. I thought I could talk to him about all the things I couldn't anyone else. Everything that I... couldn't with 'mega, because it was about her, or because it wasn't important for her to know. I just thought I'd do it later, when they came back, a time I never got.

And here I am, forever not understanding why I could.

When I drew that engraving on his bunk, I didn't realize how much I put into it. How real it was. I thought it was something... childish. Not real. Until now.

The tunnel is dark, and being here makes my skin crawl. I don't think this'll end well. Maybe I'm just... too jittery. Maybe I really am a little afraid of dying.

"We need to go back," Crosshair speaks up like someone actually wanted to hear his voice. "There must be another way."

"'fraid of the dark?" I snip back, pausing. "Be honest here. It's not like you care if something happens to me. Or any of us," I add as an afterthought, glaring at the memory of him trying to stab Hunter. I almost wish I hadn't seen, but if I hadn't, Hunter would be dealing with that knowledge alone. It's not something he'd ever tell anyone.

"That would be unwise," AZI replies, "I am afraid this is our best option."

"You done complaining?" Wrecker asks, pausing. He's not looking at Crosshair. I don't think he can. I hardly can, and I'm not the one who grew up with him. Not that it affects closeness much, but still. "You know, if it wasn't for you, we wouldn't be in this mess."

Crosshair stalks towards him slowly. It reminds me of the nexu on Saleucami – stalking, snarling, waiting to pounce, desperate to hurt. Like a predator stalking its prey. But that's just been the truth of our relationships, isn't it? "Something on your tiny mind, Wrecker?"

Wrecker looks away, and beside me, the others are pausing, looking back. "All that time, you didn't even try to come back." His sigh is quiet, defeated. Broken. Like all of us. "We still would have taken ya."

"Let it go, Wrecker," Tech cuts in, stepping up to him and laying a hand on his shoulder, turning him away from Crosshair. "Crosshair has always been severe and unyielding. It is his nature. You cannot change that." He looks pointedly at Crosshair, and he sounds... hurt. Tired. I've never seen Tech too tired to fight back – that's always what he's done, but maybe he's every bit as broken as the rest of us. And this is Tech. I don't know – he always fights. It's who and what he is. Seeing this, seeing him and Wrecker and Hunter, knowing that Crosshair did this to us, I just can't. "He cannot change that."

And Wrecker just walks off, just like that. because Tech said so, like he's giving up just on that – like there's something anyone can do to change this, like there's – I don't know. No more hope. Not that I've had any from the start.

"I think you're missing what he really is," I can't help cutting in, glaring. "A coward."

"Vision," Tech objects, taking a half-step towards me.

"No," I snap, jerking forwards. "No." I stalk up to Crosshair, glaring, chest heaving and my hands icy cold. I don't think I've ever been so angry in my life. "You are a coward," I snarl, "You're too afraid to do what you know is right. You know, the only thing that has ever made you special is being their brother. Without us, you are nothing."

"Vision," Tech says firmly, pulling me back.

"No!" I yell, shoving his hand away and whirling to glare at him. "You know it's true! He thinks he's something special, but he's not! We make each other. We always have!"