Ever Since I Met You

Chapter 19: Kiaan's wedding (Pt.1)

Kabir's pov

She went to her room without sparing me a glance. I didn't expect her to. Not after what happened. I felt like my world was collapsing. Shattered. I never felt this bad even when me and Vaani broke up. But what I'm feeling right now, can't be compared to what me and vaani went through because this pain feels infinitely smaller than that.

I knew she would reject, didn't I? She's Meera Shivaay Singh, she doesn't tolerate bullshit. I knew something like this would happen. But I don't understand why I still had my hopes up.

Why did I think that maybe she did like me back for once? Maybe because she did. She has PCOS. I wanted to tell her it's alright. I wanted to hug her. I wanted to tell her that it's alright and we would figure things out. That we would convince my family. I wanted to wipe those tears that were threatening to fall at any moment.

But I don't understand what came over me. My mind went blank. I felt confused and numb about everything. I didn't understand what was going on. It was too much for me at the moment. Rejection. Anger. Shock. Confusion. Disconnected. Everything just went hollow. Before my mind could process anything, she was out of my sight.

I lost her.

I thought Meera was fighter. I thought maybe we both would fight for our relationship and win. I didn't know she would back out from everything that easily.

That one truth, changed my whole perspective about her. She is bold and sassy but what no one can see is that she was forced to be like this. I saw the hurt in her eyes. Her eyes were full of sorrow, storms within them. It was like she was searching for some reassurance. But found none.

Maybe she just didn't want me. Because Meera isn't the person to back out so easily if she likes something. I don't understand what went wrong. But something did.

Not wanting to attract any attention, I went inside my room. I saw Shaurya there, talking on his phone. As soon as he saw me, his smile fell and he hung up the call. I don't understand why I'm feeling so numb all of a sudden. Uneasy and totally numb. Void of any emotion right now. I sat down on the bed, my hands on my knees, as my palm found itself tangled and stuck to my hair.

"What happened? Did you talk to Meera?" He asked, and I felt pain in my chest. It's hitting now I guess.

The fact that the person I loved, doesn't want me.

How does it feel to be wanted by someone? I wonder. I know how it feels to be not wanted by someone you love, but I want to know how it feels to be loved, to be wanted, to be understood.

She's right. I have anger issues. And it's not okay. Why does she have to deal with me? She doesn't deserve anyone who treats her a princess one day but the next moment when he's angry, he gets his anger out on her. She doesn't deserve that. She deserves someone who respects her. Who loves her unconditionally. Who understands her problems. She doesn't deserve a sore loser like me.

But then it would also hurt to look at her with someone else that's not me. I know I'm being selfish but I just wanted her for myself. But guess what? She doesn't want me.

"Kabir?" Shaurya's voice brought me back to reality. The reality I didn't want. The reality I wish was just a nightmare. But I have to accept that she won't like me.

"She... She doesn't want me" I tried to say, my voice hoarse. My heart felt like it was actually breaking down. Into hundred of pieces. The reality of the situation sinking in.

Meera, the woman I love, doesn't love me back.

I didn't even realise when tears started rolling down my eyes. I just started into the void. I knew this would happen, why am I crying now?