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Time is going by so fast. I requested for a church wedding. And I want it to be in the church I go to.
Here I am, at the entrance of the church, doors slowly opens, as I was greeted by many eyes whom I've never seen before and some eyes that are very familiar to me.
The choir of nuns sing as I walk down the aisle. Small tears fall down not because of happiness, but for the lack of strength to fight for myself and my freedom. The lack of power to protect me and my family. And the lack of love that I feel for this man I'm about to marry.
Lord God, please show me the reason why must I do this. Show me the purpose. Is this it? Is this my will? To be a wife to someone older than me? Should I be a submissive wife like what you taught us in the Bible?
As I stopped in the front of the altar, Dylan took my hand and guide me near the priest. I smiled at the priest. Smile, these past days I've never been able to smile. The amount of exhaustion made me forget that smiles exists.
"You look stunning, tesoro." Dylan spoke. I looked at him, no emotion whatsoever. Same like me.
I've realised that throughout the whole preparation, Dylan was never a part of the agreement our parents had. Also, I've never seen their family before. Not in our place.
" Thanks. " I timidly replied.
"We are gathered here today, to celebrate this holy matrimony of Raphaela, and Dylan........"
. . .
At the reception, I don't think i wanna be here. My stomach feels giddy as I try to make myself comfortable in my seat.
"Are you okay?" Dylan asked.
"No I'm not." I mumbled
"Well that makes the two of us." he said. I didn't say anything and just eat the food that was prepared for us.
Holy guacamole this is good.
I closed my eyes as I do a little dance while munching on my food. Food never fails to make me feel better.
I'm now in a better mood as I eat my food and Mr. Not-in-the-mood is still the same.
Few hours later we were asked to do the first dance of the newly weds. I've seen this in other people's wedding, I just can't believe today would be mine.
"Put your hands on my shoulder." Dylan said.
"Huh what?" I asked. He rolled his eyes and took my hands and place it on each of his shoulders. And then he put his hands on my waist.
"Can you please put them a bit higher?" I asked. He looked at me and sighed. But he obliged.
As the music starts, we started moving too.
"Where will I be staying now?" I asked.
"My place. You can have your own room but if our parents visit, you'll be staying in my room." he said. I nodded and kept silent
