Turned to Dust

Epilogue

Epilogue

Augustus Jerl Madrigal POV

"She's here again!" My brows frowned when I heard Amanda. I look at her line of vision, sa baba nitong VIP room namin ay nakaupo sa tapat ng bartender ang isang magandang babae. His office skirt are damn expand while all her body are leaning on counter top. Hindi ko pa nga nahahawakan pero tinitigasan na ako! What the hell!

Her white neck strappy top are so visible here. Nakatanggal na ang kanyang coat kaya alam kong kitang-kita ng girl bartender ang cleavage nito. Damn it!

Her long hair look so shiny everytime he fix it.

"Who is she?" tanong ko kay Amanda habang may hawak na bote ng whisky.

"Huwag mo ng tangkain Gus! Masyadong maldita, hindi ka uubra doon."

Napukaw niya ang atensyon ko, I like that! She's a challenge for me. Nakita ata ni Amanda ang challenge gaze ko kaya suminghap siya sa tabi. She crossed her arms and look at me evilly.

"Her name is Samantha Morata, she's s known to be snubby and rude. Do you think sa ganda niyan, walang gustong lumapit diyan? Of course not! Boys flock for her but they always rejected! Kaya hindi ka papasa diyan." Amanda smirk while I am listening to him intensely.

Samantha...

Her name ring a bell inside me. I think I've heard it but I can't remember.

"Look!" pukaw ulit ni Amanda ng atensyon ko. Inginuso niya sa akin ang magandang babae na may kausap na ngayong lalaki. Kumunot ang noo ko habang pinagmamasdan silang nag-uusap and in the end...I saw how that girl snobbishly ignore him dahilan nang pagkakapahiya ng lalaki sa mga kaibigan.

"See! She's a rude, no one dared to talk to her. Mapapahiya ka lang..."

After that night, almost every night na akong pumupunta sa Bar na 'yun. I became their regular customer there, only to watch her drinking her alcohol. Hindi ko na 'rin nabilang kung ilang beses akong naka-witness ng mga lalaking napahiya niya.

Pero noong nagkaroon ako ng lakas ng loob na lapitan siya. Doon ko naalala kung sino nga ba ang babaeng ito.

She's that girl, Riel bestfriend who gave her the trauma! Naduwag ang mga paa ko at umatras.

Ilang beses ko siyang inaabangan sa usual spot niya, may nga araw na wala siya pero madalas siyang nanduon.

This time, buong buo na ang loob kong lapitan siya. Mas sumidhi ang kagustuhan kong saktan siya, of course I want to avenge Riel to her accusations that cause her a trauma of trusting people na hanggang ngayon ay naruon padin. The other one is I find her challenging.

I watch her closely in the midst of the crowded people, dancing drunkenly. Nilapitan ko siya, she didn't know me. She looks so wasted while dancing in the middle of the dance floor. Idinampi ko ang aking kamay sa kanyang bewang—ang lakas ng kabog ng dibdib ko. Kinakabahan na baka masampal niya ako at magalit siya but she didn't do it, instead she let me touch her waist, it was so soft. Damn it! Akala ko maitutulad niya ako sa mga lalaking nakita ko'ng tinanggihan niya. Or maybe because she was so drunk to reject me?

The image of her was stained on my mind, I know that she's a bitch because of what she did to Riel. Kaya alam kong hinding-hindi ako ang makakauna sa kanya kung sakaling halikan at kunin ko siya ngayong gabi...but all of it disappeared when I felt the inside of her!

All my baseless thoughts about her got crumpled. She's a virgin? What the hell! Halos napa-atras ako sa nalaman. I look at her, she looks so damn turned on at binitin ko siya dahil sa pagkakagulantang ko.

I said so many hurtful words towards her. And I don't really do commitment, I fuck and leave! That's my basic rule when it comes to One Night Stand!

"You know what I get it. If you think that I will chase you because I were a virgin and I want a commitment to my first sex! Then sorry to tell you. I'm not up for that! I don't do chasing...pagod na ako para gawin pa yun." She said angrily at me. 

I backdown, the way I saw how sad and lonely her eyes is, I backdown! Mali ata ako ng akala sa kanya. She's not the stereotype of girl that I thought she is.

Mali din si Riel ng tingin sa kanya. We judge her wrongfully. Hinabol ko siya sa para humingi ng tawad pero noong naabutan ko siya sa elevator...I know that she will never forgive me.

Umuwi ako ng bahay na balisa, I can't seem to get her off my mind. Her eyes lingered on my mind even if I am asleep and in between my meetings.

To end it, I tried to contact Axel so I can invest in their company at makita ulit siya. But then, the way she confidently discuss her presentation, I cant help it! I cant help but to look at her so intently that I even thought of doing that tonight with her. I want her again, to kiss every inch of her. 

Nababaliw na nga siguro talaga ako. I'm not usually like this when it comes to my fast flings. I don't have any hang-ups with them, only with her. Or baka kasi hindi ko naman talaga siya natikman, muntikan lang?

Kinain ako ang mga sinabi ko. I said I don't do repeats, but when I look at her. I want her so much. My desire are full whenever she look at me or even rolling her eyes on me. I get so fucking turned on when she watch and look at me. I tasted many women in the past but never did I go crazy over a touch, a simple touch. But when I'm with her, para ako nililisan ng ulirat sa tuwing nagtatagpo ang mga mata namin.

I tried so hard to convince Axel to go on her condo every time we go home. So I can peacefully look at her and sleep soundly on my bed. Wala naman akong naririnig na kahit ano sa kanya, all I want is to see her and watch her slowly.

"Nababaliw ka na talaga kay Samantha!" that's Axel word when I called him about visiting her on his condo again later.

I chuckled. "Please, I just want to see her." Axel groaned on the other line.

"I heard her Mom set up a date for her, this weekend ata?" naikuyom ko ang kamao ko dahil sa sinabi niya. Hindi ako nagsalita! I think of a better excuse to see her.

At siguro naging desperado ako. I offered her an arrangement na alam kong hindi niya tatanggapin. Kaya noong pumayag siya ay halos hindi ako makatulog! No! Hindi ako pinatulog!

The first time I touch her, I didn't sleep or even blink. But when I really do it with her...I know I will be so lost on her soul. She will completely own me. When she slowly let me enter the world that she have, I know that there's something deeper on why she's like this. This is not just between Riel and her. I know there something more bigger, why she always push the people who wants to know her, who wants to be with her. 

The very first time I confirmed what it is... I didn't blink. My heart shattered continuously for her. The woman I loved are suffering like this? Fuck it! Tangina! I didn't even hold her hardly sa takot kong masaktan siya and yet--I will witness how her mother treat her like a trash?!

My heart torn into pieces. I want to elope with her! I want to cover her from the cruel world that she have. I want to  hug her so tight.

I cursed continuously under my breathe while I heard her crying on her cold room. I want to destroy them...they're family for hurting her like this! I want to much to kill all of them! At habang lumilipas ang oras doon ko hindi lalong masikmura kung ilang taon siyang nagtitiis sa ganito. Gaano niya kinakaya lahat ng ito.

"Dad!" tuloy-tuloy ang lakad ko patungo sa office ni Dad. Galit at naguumapaw ang emosyon.

"Yes son?" tumigil siya sa kanyang ginagawa at hinarap ako ng maayos.

"I want you to do something for me." seryosong sambit ko.

"Like what?" naningkit ang mga mata niya at nag-aabang ng sasabihin.

"Approach Samantha's parents."

"Uh-huh and then?"

"Do everything to make me a prospect to be her possible husband. Samantha..." mariin akong pumikit at nilakasan ang loob na ipagtapat kay Daddy ang lahat. "...she's been abused by that family." nanlaki ang mata ni Dad sa sinabi ko.

"What? Are you sure?" gulantang na tanong ni Daddy sa akin. Huminga ako ng malalim at tumango.

"Now I want you Dad to approached her parents, especially her mother.  I want to marry her, so she can get out of that damn household!"  seryoso ang mata ni Dad na nakatingin sa akin.

I thought that time, everything was in the best place. Not until that day, when Elodie called me, that there is a woman looking for me in my condo. I desperately called Axel to find her, I desperately look for her everywhere but everything, my hopes and love...suddenly vanished and turned into dust when she left me.

Love comes when you're not ready for it, and leave when you needed it.

I sighed when  I look at the beautiful mountain of Mouth Pulag. It's been my 10th mountain for this year, hoping that I will find her here...taking a picture of the beautiful scenery.

Samantha left me.

She planned it desperately. For her to planned it like this, I know how much she wants to get rid of her life. Her peace and freedom pero sana naman sinama niya ako sa kapayapaan na gusto niya. Sana naman naisip niya ako noong plinano niya ang lahat.

What about me? 

Five years without her felt like alive but hardly living. This is why I promised myself that if I see her now. I will make sure that she will never ever go without me. Susundan ko siya kahit saan siya magpunta! I will make myself be visible to her, I will  find her so my heart can be home.

This is why when I saw her again on the lobby of our hospital, still looks so gorgeous on her short hair, my Samantha Ariel Morata. Where have you been? I missed you so much. I know my eyes didn't leave her. Ayokong kumurap sa takot na mawala ulit siya sa harap ko. She already slipped on my hand, this time I will never ever let her!

Kung kailangan kong lumuhod sa harapan niya para lang kunin at hawakan ako ulit ay gagawin ko. But then I didn't voice it out, pinakita ko 'yun sa mga mata ko. Sana maawa siyang damputin ako ulit at buohin. Without her, I'm nothing...

Please Sam, come back to me! Ano ba ang dapat kong gawin para makita mo ko ulit. Kahit hindi na lang mahalin since hindi mo naman naamin kung minahal mo ba ako. I just want to be with you. I promised to hold you and loved you the way you deserve it... no one can ever ever hurt you again.

Ano ba ang magandang panghawakan ko para bumalik ka sa akin? Should I threatened her parents? Should I destroy their company and ask her hand for marriage?

Nababaliw na ako! Ayokong sa pagkakataong ito ay kumawala na naman siya sa mga kamay ko.

"Tell me again...I have a s-son?" I ask him. Dapat ay galit ako, but her confession give me a great idea on how to finally hold her this time! 

I look at her with mix emotion but a part of it is finally, you will got me this time! Hinding hindi na ako papayag na kakawala ka pa sa akin lalo na at may anak pala ako sayo?! Damn it! Samantha! Our son are my only keys to enter you, successfully.

I corner his neck and jaw with my both two hands. You are mine now, Samantha! Iuuwi mo ako kung saan kaman nagtatago. Uuwi ka na sa akin, hindi na ako papayag na kakawala ka pa sa akin.

I kissed her to sealed it, my longing for her presence and all of her.

I watch our son playing on the sand, I watch her passionately. Even if I cursed you so bad for leaving me that time, now that I see how peaceful you are here, I  regret it! Tama lang ang naging desisyon mo noon na iwan kaming lahat para sa kapayapaan na hinahangad mo.

I'm now even praising you for raising our son handsomely and kind. Thank you Sam for letting me love you, for loving you  forever. 

Kakalipat lang namin sa bahay na pinagawa ko. Samantha design it on her flavor. Itong-ito ang pangarap ko noon noong pinaplano palang ang pagpapagawa nito. For her to design it. Hating gabi na at tulog na tulog na si Argus.

Then I saw her watching the stars on our balcony. Every time I caught her watching the star or the city lights, it feels like its calling me to hug her. I snake my arms on her waist as we both look at the stars. I'm really obsess with her. 
 
I kissed her  neck and she let me access it fully. I smirked.

"Did you know that back then whenever I look at the stars, I felt nothing but darkness." natigilan ako sa sinabi niya.

She heavily sighed. "I thought about how unfair my life is to other people, Its like I've been screaming nonstop and they didn't even care to look at me." my heart hurt because of what she said.

She then face me. I hold his back and look at her with a pain in my eyes.

"But when I meet you, I realized that you noticed me, you care and love me. Ikaw ang nag-ahon sa akin sa madilim na buhay ko noon. You were the one who open my door, and I love you for taking a risk and for doing that." I slowly lean on her to kissed her slowly. I will never get tired of kissing you Samantha Ariel Mardrigal!

She smirked when I still want of her. And the she pulled something on her pocket.

Ang lapad ng ngiti niyang inaabot sa akin 'yun. The moment I saw it, a drop of tears suddenly flow in my eyes.

Its a pregnancy test with a double line.

"Congratulations my husband, my reward for you. I love you." she said and kissed me again.

The End