Turned to Dust

Forty

Forty

We are eating our breakfast when I notice the every minute stare of my son at us. At sa tuwing nahuhuli ko siyang nagpapalit-palit ang tingin sa amin ni Gus ay nangingiti ako.

"What is it sweetheart?" Tanong ko. Hindi na nakatiis.

Umiling siya sa harap ko. "Nothing Mom." He said and didn't look at us again. I pursed my lips at napatingin kay Gus na mukhang kanina parin napapansin si Argus.

"Aren't you happy son?" Si Augustus sa kanya.

"No po Daddy. I am so happy..." he said at us then he look at me and smile warmly.

"I love how Mommy is happy, I love how you take care of her. Even if I am jealous of you Dad because you kiss Mommy. I guess its fine now....as long as my Mommy is happy." Napaiwas ako ng tingin kay Argus at namuo kaagad ang luha sa mata. I raised him so well. Naiiyak ako dahil naparamdam ko sa kanya ang totoong pagmamahal, yung nagbibigay at nagpaparaya at tumatanggap. I love how he accepts all of the changes thats been happening to us right now.

I love how my son embrace it...us.

Nakita kong bumaba si Argus sa kanyang high chair at lumapit sa akin. Tuluyang bumagsak ang luha sa mata ko at maagap niya 'yung pinunasan. Dinaluhan na 'rin siya ni Augustus sa tabi ko.

"Mommy I know you're happy and its okay to cry. All emotions are so important, let it be Mommy. I love you." He said na mas lalong nagpahagulhol sa akin. He kissed my cheeks so my tears will stop but it just didn't. Mas lalo na nang maramdaman ko din ang yakap ni Augustus sa akin.

All my life I've been praying that maybe there's someone out there who's waiting for me to love him. It should be the one who can love me for who I am. Isa lang ang hiniling ko noon, but the heaven gave me two and its...Augustus and our son.

I felt their kisses on me, its so warm,  peaceful and perfect. I will never hope anymore as long as I have this two. I felt love and contented when I'm with them.

Both me and Augustus go to the market for the grocery. Mapilit si Gus na sumama kahit ilang beses ko namang sinabing kaya ko ng mag-isa, hinayaan ko nalang siya sa gusto niya. I need to buy our stocks for a week. Gamit namin ang sasakyan niya at iniwan ko na muna si Argus kila El na mukhang kagigising palang. Its 10:00am when we both headed to the market of this place. Tinuturo ko sa kanya ang daan patungong grocery store or market. Nasa kalagitnaan na kami ng byahe nang maramdaman ko ang unti-unting paggapang ng kanyang kamay sa akin. He hold mine and intertwined it. Sinipat ko siya dahil sa ginawa niya at natawa nang masyadong focus ang tingin niya sa daan.

"You're always find your way to hold my hand..." sambit ko at itinuko ang kanang  siko sa bintana ng kotse at hinimlay ang ulo aking palad.

"Bakit? Bawal parin ba?" panunuya niya pabalik sa akin. Napangiti ako sa asar niya at inilingan na lamang siya.

"Now that our son approved of me, nothing can stop me now." he smirked.

I groaned at him. "About what Augustus?" hamon ko.

"About me owning you... I'll make sure that all you're admirer here will back off if we saw us together. Gusto kong makita nilang akin ka at sa akin lang..." Kaya pala nagpumilit siyang sumama sa akin kanina dahil may binabalak naman palang ganito.

Natawa ako ng bahagya. "You're so possessive Augustus!"

"Yeah. As it should be." huli niyang sambit at tinuon na ulit ang atensyon sa daan. Pinaglaruan niya ang aking palasing-singang may singsing na bigay niya at mula 'rito kitang-kita ko ang pag-ngiti niya everytime na hinahawakan ito.