Turned to Dust

Twenty Six

Twenty Six

When I attended all Argus dischargement. Iniwan ko silang mag-Tito na naglalaro sa Emergeny Room. Buong gabi akong walang tulog kahit ilang beses naman akong sinabihan ni Axel na umidlip muna kahit sandali. It's because I love how Argus are opening up to him. And I love how Axel handle kids its so natural for him.

"You've been married to Riel? Wala parin bang nabubuo?" Tanong ko sa kanya nang makaidlip si Argus nang madaling araw. Nanghingi lang ito ng milk bago nakatulog ulit. Nawala na rin ang lagnat niya.

"We're planning it... and taking everything slow." Aniya. I nodded at him. Sabagay they have a career, mahirap nga naman pagsabayin ang mga yun. At bata pa naman din kami, for sure makakapag-hintay naman 'yun. And besides ang tagal nilang nagkahiwalay, magandang ideya nga naman ang naisip nila.

"Ikaw? How are you handling this financially? Hows your work pala?" Usisa niya sa akin.

"I'm working from home. I'm a virtual assistant." Sabi ko. Kumunot ang noo niya dahil sa sinabi ko.

"Who's your client usually?" Siya ulit.

"Mostly foreigners" he nodded.

"Kaya pala talaga hirap na hirap si Gus na itrace ka. First you didn't go outside of your house and your employer is mostly foreigners." I smiled weakly at him.

Masyado ata akong na-occupied sa pagkakataranta ko kanina noong nag-usap kami ni Augustus.

I heard what he said to me. About me leaving and taking his heart with me. He's still good at it...his flowery words. But then when I look back, doon ko lang din napagtugma-tugma ang mga sinabi sa akin ni Axel about him.

That he's looking and searching for me everywhere. Ayokong maniwala but the way Axel said it to me in our phone conversation I know he's not lying.

Its 4am when I take a courage to ask Axel about him again. "Ax..." tawag ko ng pansin niya.

He look at me a bit then look at my son again.

"About what you said during our phone conversation. Is it true?" Kuryusong tanong ko. Alam kong minsan maloko si Alex pero alam kong hindi siya magbibiro ng ganito-lalo na sa akin.

"Alin doon?"

"About Gus searching me? Hindi pa ba siya nag-aasawa o kahit may girlfriend man lang?" Kuryusong tanong ko sa kanya.

He chuckled and smirked when he saw my curiosity. "Nope. May inaantay ata." Sabi niya. Kinunutan ko siya ng noo at hindi na muling nagsalita. Sino ba ang niloloko ko? Alam kong ako ang pinapatungkulan ni Axel na hinihintay ni Augustus pero ayokong maniwala- no- ayokong magpadalos-dalos sa mga sinasabi niya. At kung totoo man ang sinasabi niya, then paano ko 'yun haharapin?! Paano ko kakausapin si Augustus about sa nangyare sa amin noon. Tama si Axel, kailangan namin mag-usap. Kailangan namin isarado ang parte ng buhay namin noon. If its true that he's been searching for me then I really left him hanging that time.

I know Augustus had been so vocal in terms of his liked for me. Pero akala ko parte lang 'yun ng pagkatao niya, his flowery words. After all he is a well known playboy na magaling mag-handle ng mga babae. I keep doubting him because of his past na hindi totoo ang lahat. But now that Axel is telling me something that I didn't know Augustus could do- parang bumabaliktad ang sikmura ko sa tuwing iniisip ang mga tinanim kong conclusion about sa kanya.

That he maybe really like me for real during that time.

I swallowed hard when a series of flashback came to me. His touch, his smile, his care and loved. I realized something that despite of being judge by all the people....he was the one who's stayed with me, he's so patient na kahit ilang beses kong ipinagtulakan palayo ay nariyan parin.