Perspective Swap

Achilles (12)

The next summer, we were thirteen. I was, first, but Patroclus came shortly after. I almost did not recognize him anymore—lankyand gaunt, stork legs and sharpening chin

I was taller, of course, but Patroclus was catching up, slowly but surely.

The fosters were also growing older. Regularly now we heard moansbehind closed doors and saw shadows returning to their beds before dawn. I never participated in any of these actions.

It would have been easy, for me to havebedded one of these girls, I'm not saying it wouldn't have been, I just never wish for something so horrible. At thirteen we were almost late to doso, especially me, as princes were known for their appetites. Instead, wewatched in silence as the foster boys pulled girls onto their laps, or Peleussummoned the prettiest to his room after dinner. Once, Father even offered her to me. I was disgusted.

I answered, almost diffidently: I am tired tonight.Later, as we walked back to our room, I avoided Patroclus' eyes. He was the reason I was like this.

This morning I had leapt onto Patroclus' bed and pressed my nose against his. "Good morning," I'd said. I remembered the heat of him against myskin. How I craved it, more and more every day.

Later that day, Ihad overheard a serving girl whispering to her friend: "Do you think theprince looked at me, at dinner?" Her tone was one of hope. I almost walked over to her, and told her that I was not, nor would I be, ever looking at her. I didn't. Instead, I watched as Patroclus' eyes grew sad.

He likes her. I thought. Of course he likes her! How could he not?

One night, we stayed late in Father's chamber. He was reciting a story, as he often was. I was on the floor,an arm thrown beneath my head for a pillow. Patroclus sat more formally, despite my pleads, in a chair.

"...the people loved him, hereceived it." I heard Father say, but was too zoned out to listen much. I was tapping a new rhythm, the song that best suited Patroclus. I'd call it, "The song of Patroclus."

"...day the king of Calydon said," he zoned out yet again. "...There are other worthy men in Calydon.' " I shifted, tunic pulled tight across my chest.

"He said, 'I will not fight for you any longer.' And he went back to hishouse and sought comfort in the arms of his wife."I was growing bored.

I had an idea.

I tugged slightly on Patroclus' foot, grinning up at him from the floor.

"Calydon had fierce enemies, and when they heard that Meleager wouldno longer fight for Calydon—"

He pushed his foot towards me a little, provokingly. I wrapped my fingers around his ankle.

"They attacked. And the city of Calydon suffered terrible losses."

I finally yanked, and Patroclus slid half out of the chair. He clung to the woodenframe so as not be pulled onto the floor.

"So the people went to Meleager, to beg him for his help. And—Achilles, are you listening?" I had been caught.

"Yes, Father."

"You are not. You are tormenting our poor Skops."

I watched as Patroclus--Skops as Peleus referred to him-- attempted to look tormented. I rolled my eyes.

"Achilles, you might look for the light-haired girl, from the kitchen. She hasbeen haunting doorways for you, I hear." Father said. I silently cursed him, something I had never done before.

"Perhaps, Father. I am tired tonight." That wasn't true. In fact, I was quite aroused. Just not for a woman.

Peleus chuckled, as if this were a joke. "I'm sure she could wake youup." He waved us off.

"That girl—do you like her?" Patroclus asked me. No better chance than now to ask.

"Why? Do you?"

"No, no." Patroclus flushed. "That is not what I meant." Finally, some peace. I hated this girl.

"I mean, do you want—" Nevermind. I'll have to make my own peace.

I ran at him, pushed him backwards onto his cot. Leaned over him. "I'msick of talking about her," I said, aroused, angry, and lusty. But I could have none of that. Not now, at least. I moved my lips away from Patroclus'. A centimeter closer and they would have touched.

I quickly got up, grabbed a cup of water, and went to my own bed. "Good night."