Today is Monday

Chapter 4: Tuesday

September 17, 2018

I stopped reading for a minute, placing my head on the couch and then looking up at the ceiling. How can he say that about his parents? Surely they do love him? Right?

I heard a door open and I turned around to see my aunt. I immediately turned back around, shut the book and placed it to the left of me. She continued walking. I looked down, squeezed my eyes shut and shouted, "Auntie! I'm sorry for shouting at you and shutting the door in your face." I didn't look up, but I heard her come close to me.

"I forgive you." She said sweetly caressing my head. Then she kissed my forehead, "I love you M. I really mean it, come to us if you ever need anything. Okay?" I nodded and she began to walk away. I didn't look up, but I heard her stop walking. "I hope you enjoy that book." Then I heard the back door open.

I smiled, but I don't know why. Maybe because I'm forgiven? I shook my head and grabbed the book again, remembering how this person wanted to trade their parents for anyone else. Is it even possible for an adult not to love their child? Like this person is implying? I looked at the book. Maybe I should ask Auntie- No, I- I can't open a door. I sighed and opened the book. Hopefully he changes his mind and I don't have to wonder anymore.

November 12, 1996

Today is Tuesday and I'm sick of this. Sick of being the perfect little boy. Today my parents lectured me again. I woke up and they automatically messed up my day. To make matters worse they spit in my face when I got home because I yelled at one of my 'friends.' I'm done, I want this to all stop. Is it worth it to live in this hell?

I raised the book up looking at the page, disappointed. Nevermind, it seems he won't change his mind...

November 12, 1996

I woke up early, hoping that I won't have to confront my parents; not until after school at least. I got ready by getting my school uniform on, as quietly as I could. I made my bed that way Ms. Eve won't come in here and touch my stuff. I left my hair untouched, there was no need to brush my hair, it would only waste time. I grabbed my bag thinking it had everything I needed and left my room. I tipped toed on the stairs trying so hard to not make a sound. But all my efforts were wasted as when I thought I was in the clear; about to open the front door I heard my dad.

"Where do you think you're going?"

I took an exaggerated sigh knowing what was coming, "To school."

"Oh no you're not! Come over here, you didn't answer your phone yesterday. You have an hour before school, so come over here. We have much to talk about."

I didn't respond. I just walked over to the first living room. That's where all of our 'talks' happened. He walked towards the kitchen. I knew he was getting coffee because that's what he always starts his day with, coffee. I heard my mom's high heels on the wooden floor coming closer to where I was. She sat in front of me with a magazine in hand. The magazine said '13 new fashion trends! Plus a tip for enhancing mascara!' She didn't say anything to me. When she was comfy she looked at me and shook her head.

"What?" I asked, crossing my arms.

"I let you grow out your hair and you don't even brush it! You're so ungrateful for what I give you!" She kicked her feet up to the table in front of us and opened her magazine. She then said something to herself a little bit too loudly, "Sometimes I wish you weren't a boy."

I pretended not to hear. I knew she never wanted a boy. The only reason she tolerates me is because Dad promised her I would have many girls as their grandchildren that she can spoil. That made me wonder what they couldn't control? After five minutes of awkward silence, Dad walked in with his coffee. He placed it on the table and Mom put the magazine down.

"So, let's get down to business. You made us the deal that if you study alone without our help, you will only get A's or A plus's. Let's see your grades." He looked at me intensely. I took my bag off my back and got a handful of cards. My parents paid the school every week for my teachers to send these cards home with me to show my progress. I had a specific zipper for all of them. They wanted to see every single one and because they were gone for so long there were so many little cards. Each card had the class, teacher's name, grade and a little progress report from my teachers. My dad looked at them while my mom once again opened and focused on her magazine. After seeing him nodded and smiled, I thought I was going to be in the clear so I started to get ready to leave, but then he slammed the desk with one of the cards.

"What is this?" He clenched his teeth trying not to yell. My mom just shook her head. She didn't even look at the card and she is still just disappointed! "Answer me!" He yelled. I looked at the card to see what he was so upset about. He pointed at a certain class, AP physics. I looked at the grade and it was an A minus. I rolled my eyes, he's upset with an A minus? Typical...

"It's an A." I said bluntly.

"No! It's an A minus! Minus! And in the most important class too!" He got up, "This is unacceptable! I can't have you with this! How are you going to be an astrophysicist if you only get an A minus! This is your last year of highschool. How are you going to make this up?"

I was used to his stupid yelling and how Mom didn't do anything about his outburst. Just shaking her head, probably ignoring the whole conversation. But as he was yelling I kinda toned him out, wondering when he was going to finish so I can go to school. I looked at the clock on the wall and then sighed, "Are we done yet?" I immediately covered my mouth. My dad stopped ranting and looked at me.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing- I" I started to hear my heartbeat and I felt sweat on my hands.

He walked up to me and raised his hands. I covered my face, but my mom spoke up.

"Don't hurt him or the school will ask questions." That's all she said, she didn't even look up from her magazine. He put his hand down and looked away from me.

"Go to school. Now!" He shouted. I quickly grabbed my backpack and walked out the door.

On the way to school I walked in the park to try to relax, but it didn't work. I took deep breaths to stop myself from crying, but a few tears slipped by. I had twenty minutes before school started. I walked faster trying to stop the tears from flowing. When I get to class I will write this out. Just focus on getting to school! Stop crying. I got out of the park in a flash and before I reached the front gates of my school I felt a hand go on my shoulder. I wasn't thinking and slapped the hand away.

"Don't bother me!" I screamed.

"Hey, just chill!" I didn't have to turn around to know that it was Chris, "Dude I'm only asking if-"

"No! Leave me alone! I don't have time to hear you ask or beg me for something! Go bother some other rich kid if you're that poor!" I stormed away and entered the school's gate. Everything was a blur, I angrily got to class. When I sat down, I got my notebook for the class, then I rummaged through my bag to find my book. Only it wasn't there. What? I thought I left it in my bag! Dread hit me. What if my parents find it? Did I pull it out when giving the cards? No... It must still be in my room. I took a breath trying not to rage in my seat. The bell rang and class had finally started. I couldn't focus however. I could only think about my parents, mostly my dad, finding the book. It wouldn't be the first time they found one of my journals, but after this morning I fear that he will do something worse to me if he finds it. I went through the rest of my day in school worried about my journal. I forgot all about yelling to Chris and found it strange when he didn't pop up on my walk to fourth period. That was when I remembered this morning. I felt guilty for yelling, I'll look for him after school to apologize. Can't ruin a perfect relationship that my parents established. But I didn't see him after school either. Confused, I asked one of his friends where he went, to which he told me he left school early. So I walked home with regret and dread. I tried to stay calm, but I couldn't relax. I usually wrote what I felt in my journal, but because I didn't have it, I felt weird and my emotions spiraled. I hurried home to find it, although I didn't really want to go home. Our gates were open which was strange as they were alway closed when I got home. That's when I saw a red car, but it wasn't just a red car it was Chris's father's car. Oh no. What's going on?