The Princess and the Guard (Book 1)

Sixty

He even went to the infirmary, but it was closed for the night. The next place he thought of was the room Odette had turned into a prison cell. The door was open, and the room was empty.

Starting to grow increasingly concerned by the minute, Noah came up short. He tried to think of where else she would have gone, voluntarily or involuntarily. He kept moving, thinking he may as well start looking in the places he otherwise wouldn't have, since he was out of ideas.

As he neared the front of the palace, the sound of music and voices filled the air. He was about to turn away, when his eyes settled on a narrow stairwell, tucked in the far corner of the second-level balcony.

She wanted to watch the ball, in that one moment when she'd forgotten they were planning to run away.

Noah crept up the stairs, his heart still thumping against his ribs. Cresting the top, he scanned the area and was about to turn away when his eyes landed on her.

She was sitting with her back to the wall opposite the balcony. Her eyes were open, but she didn't look at him as he neared her.

"Hey, butterfly. What are you doing?" he asked, carefully sinking down beside her.

She drew a steady inhale. "Nothing. I was going to go, but Odette said I couldn't."

"I know. I'm sorry." Noah cleared his throat. "We were planning on leaving tonight, do you still want to? Or have you changed your mind?"

"Leaving?"

"The palace. You helped me work on the ship yesterday."

She hesitated. Nodded. "Right."

"Do you not remember that?"

"I do. Kind of. I keep thinking things are real, that aren't. And vice versa." She tried to laugh. "It's very confusing."

"It's only been a week. Less than a week, actually. You need to be patient with yourself."

"I don't want to be patient!" she cried. Thankfully the noise from the ballroom drowned it out. "I want to remember! I want to know why Odette doesn't love me, I want to know why you do, I want to remember why I stayed here for so long, and what pushed me over the edge to decide to leave. I want to remember deciding to leave! I want to... I want to feel something, and all I feel is empty."

Noah weighed his words carefully, reminding himself the night was young and they had plenty of time. "Then let yourself feel empty. Take it in. Process the emptiness. Don't try and force yourself to fill in the blanks."

"I'm not."

"Good. You remember some things. Like hacking! And that's not easy, trust me, you've shown me some of the things you've done and it's way over my head."

She almost smiled. "I suppose."

"Do you remember how to walk? What country you're in? You're name? My name? You remember things. Not everything, but you aren't starting from scratch."

Juliette shook her head. "I'm sorry I've been such a mess the past week."

"Don't be sorry." Noah followed her gaze out toward the balcony. "Do you want to dance?" he asked, trying to think of something he could do to pull her out of herself, or even distract her.

Juliette was silent for several seconds. She lifted her chin from her knees, barely nodding. "Yes."

Noah stood up, offering her his hand. She seemed to hesitate, but she took it, and he carefully pulled her up, leading her out toward the center of the balcony. He rested a hand on her waist, taking her other hand. She moved against him, her arm wrapping around his waist, her head resting on his shoulder.

They moved with the rhythm of the music, not exactly dancing, but moving together. Noah rested his cheek on the top of her head, already thinking they tonight wasn't going to work. They'd have to leave another time, they'd have to wait until she had a stronger grasp on what was going on.

Whatever had caused her memory to glitch had messed with her in more than one way. She was a shell of the girl she had been, and Noah knew it would take time for her to climb back out. He held her tighter, and felt her arms tighten around him. He was suddenly acutely aware of how many of his thoughts centered around her, how much of his attention had her at the core. She had always been special to him, and he had been a fool to take it for granted and not recognize the direness of her situation.

Now it was too late. He'd missed his chance to really and truly protect her, and now she was the one to suffer for it.

Noah blinked his eyes clear.