Trying to live

Chapter 41

The knocking was stronger this time. Henry was still atop of me, frozen, his breaths shallow and quick. 

"Henry?" Juliette asked again, her tone being louder and annoyed. She started to turn the knob.

Henry closed his eyes and then spoke in a loud voice. "Wait, I'm in here just let me put some clothes on and clean my room. I'll let you in, just give me five minutes."

I heard Juliettes huff from here and then. "Fine, I'll go downstairs and grab some water. Do you want something?"

"No."

She left the doorknob and probably left.

I wasn't focusing on that. I focused on Henry, who suddenly leaned his forehead on mine. "What am I doing? What am I going to tell her?" 

Henry exhaled sharply and then flopped down on the pillow next to me. I glanced at him, the way he was lost and in thoughts. The way he had a perfect jawline, a straight nose, long eyelashes - the way he was just so perfect. A beautiful painting. 

Something broke in me. 

Something shattered in my heart.

He wasn't talking about me. He wasn't thinking about me. 

Henry was talking and thinking about Juliette. 

His girlfriend. 

I was no one to him.

It hurt but the truth was that he had to to think about her. 

Henry loved her.

The boy I imagined when I was kissing Cam was in love with his girlfriend, not me. 

And though this thoughts broke me, they were true.

I was the wrong one to even think about kissing him. To feel something when he touched me. 

I had to get a grip on myself because I wasn't thinking clearly. I was stupid and my hormones were probably on display and playing me. 

Henry was my past and he would always be. 

I wasn't in love with him. 

Are you really not?, a voice inside my head asked me.

The longer I stared at him, the more I was unsure about my feelings.

I took a deep breath and graced his hand with my fingertips. His head turned to me, green eyes like emeralds lost in the sea, looking at me. "Nothing. You're telling her the truth, Henry - that nothing happened and we were studying."

That was the truth. Nothing happened between us two. Of course, he touched me but it wasn't like that. He wasn't cheating on his girlfriend and he wouldn't with me anyway.

Henry thought I cheated on him, which well my position with Wyatt wasn't really helping the case, but I knew for a fact he wouldn't do that to Juliette. 

Because they got together only a few weeks after my break - up with him. 

He scoffed. "I can't tell Julie that."

Julie?, I thought bitterly. 

God, what was wrong me?

I had this burning feeling in me. In my abdomen. I wanted to hurl something on someone, particularly a girl with blonde hair and blue eyes. 

"Of course, you can. We were studying Henry," I said to him and sat up. "Juliette must have an idea that you and I will be together in a room most of the time, when you tutor me."