I have worked a lot on my emotions and also on my feelings, even after many blows on a sentimental and emotional level I have learned over the years to become practically apathetic when before I was much more sensitive. Now I am practically an empty shell that walks and goes on by inertia that now after having finished for 2 years now the school career dedicated to preparing the ground for a future hopefully sooner or later to share with a partner similar to me. Now, like an empty wrapper that rolls down from a cliff, I am taking the first small steps towards the future and what will be waiting for me, in fact now I go on only pursuing my dreams and my goals but always in an apathetic way. When I was a kid, I couldn't even watch someone cry and I started crying, that he was a stranger or a person I knew I could not hold back tears even if the pain that had struck that person had not affected me while now I can no longer feel empathy for almost anyone. But now I realized that hiding their emotions and feelings and another kind of pain maybe even greater than a physical and moral pain. Practically all my feelings and emotions are repressed except two that I have not managed to repress but that I must admit are the only thing probably that I have not yet made an undead empty (undead for those who follow the trilogy of dark souls). The only feelings that I find opposite to each other but that at the same time works together alternately to make me pursue dreams and goals are Tokyo (that is, the conglomerate of anger, anger, anger and resentment repressed over the years I explain in part 4) and then there is the Love that is still strong in me, These two are reflected in the way of acting that I have with a person with whom or little confidence comes into play Tokyo or I do very mysterious shy I may seem shy and introverted but with a person I know with whom I have confidence comes into play love or I am very kind and nice to the point of being very extroverted. Unfortunately this yin and Yang are not always understood and indeed are not always even seen by people which leads them to judge me based on what they see, But they don't know what lies beneath that friendly smile, there is a deep sorrow that will hopefully be overcome one day. I am surely convinced that from the moment I find a partner with whom to share my life in good in evil this pain will be for the most part expurgated and then completely removed with the birth of a offspring that I am sure together with my company will fill a heart that has been empty for a long time. Listen to me that you are reading this post or this story One day you will understand that all this pain will have served you for something greater, And the most beautiful feeling ever will be when you finally realize you're not sad about something you thought you'd never get over.
