Castles crumbling (Taylor Swift's little sister)

Chapter 5

-"Should I apologize?" Betty asked kind of embarrassed.

-"Yes, once we get out of the bathroom you are going to approach Lizzie, ask her to go to the living room with you for a minute  and tell her you're sorry for commenting on how much she was eating" Blake said.

They got out of the bathroom and Betty did exactly what her mom told her. You told Betty it was okay and hugged her. She gave you a kiss and went back to the dining room.

You did your best to eat without showing how anxious and guilty you were feeling. Tree tried to discreetly support you during the meal by making you laugh and distracting you from your thoughts. You managed to eat all of your plate. And when all of you were finished, Betty asked you if you both could go upstairs to your room to play with the legos you had in there. You agreed and took her upstairs. But before playing with the legos, you took out the notebook in which you wrote everything you ate during each day, along with the calories each meal had and the calories you burned off in your workouts. You were silently panicking at how much you've eaten for lunch when Betty asked if she could draw something too. You told her to use a paper from the recycling bin and draw whatever she'd like. You didn't notice that she took a paper from the trash can and not the recycling bin, so it was a paper you teared off your calorie notebook some days ago and it had some of your stuff written in it. Betty decided to draw something for her mom and went downstairs to take it to Blake, while you got out of your closet the legos you were going to play with.

Once the three women were left alone, Blake apologized to Taylor, she said that she knew Betty was just a kid, but she could tell that Tay felt uncomfortable too.

-"That's what I wanted to talk you about, Blake" Taylor said.

In that moment Betty appeared with the drawing in her hand and handed it to Blake. Blake was confused to see what it was written, so she asked Betty about it:

-"What is this baby?"
-"It's a drawing mommy, I made it for you" Betty said excited. 

Blake saw the drawing at the back of the paper and told how beautiful it was to Betty. She thanked her and asked her about what was written on the other side.

-"Oh! It's probably something Lizzie wrote. She told me to pick this paper from her recycling bin. Well, love you mommy, I'm going upstairs again" Betty said and disappeared climbing up the stairs.

-"Love you too, baby". Blake said.

Blake handed the paper to Taylor and they stared at each other for a couple of seconds before Taylor broke the silence:

-"Those are calories and food that Lizzie has been logging and writing down. Blake, I think she's struggling with an eating disorder"Taylor's eyes filled with tears.

-"I'm sorry Tay. I really am. When did she started to struggle? I haven't seen her in a while..." Blake said hugging Taylor.

Taylor wiped her tears and said: "I don't know. I didn't notice until this time I came home. I think she's thinner, Tree thinks that too, but I wasn't so worried until Tree told me about her sunken stomach and her body checking behaviors. I came home almost a month ago... I think it wasn't this bad then".

Tree spoke up: -"I haven't seen her since Taylor's birthday and the weight loss is obvious".

Blake took out her phone and looked for a picture of both of you from thanksgiving. She asked Taylor to take the photo back then because both of you accidentally dressed similarly to each other and found it hilarious. Blake handed the phone to Tree and Taylor and said:

-"This photo is from the last time I saw her. It was thanksgiving. She looks so different, she was so happy".

Tree and Taylor were shocked. You looked so happy and healthy in that picture. They didn't remember you used to look like that months before. Your face was fuller,  your skin and hair looked healthy, your cheeks were red, your smile was huge. Now your cheeks were sunken in, now you looked pale and sad. Taylor started to cry again.

-"Have you talked to her about this?" Blake asked Taylor.

Taylor answered still crying:
-"Yeah, I've tried but it's so hard. She says she's fine all the time. I don't know what to do. Tree said I should try to get her to open up one last time, I think I'm going to try it tonight. I probably would need to talk to my mom too".

-"That sounds good. Try talking to her tonight and see what she tells you. If she does opens up, she probably won't want you to tell your mom about it, but you need to tell her that it's for her own good. It's not good for you to keep this to yourself. I know you are going to start blaming yourself. Listen to me: her eating disorder is not your fault, not even if she saw you and remembers how much you struggled with yours". Blake said calming Taylor and hugging her again.

-"We're here for you. Don't deal with this alone, Taylor" Tree said.

Blake held Taylor's hands and Tree hugged Taylor. Taylor calmed down and thanked both of them. Then Tree left, so Taylor and Blake sat in the living room and started to catch up on their lives.

You were playing with Betty but felt overwhelmed about the pasta, so you excused yourself and went to the bathroom. You looked at your reflection, you lift your top up and stared at your belly and thighs. You started crying but tried to make no noise. Within 5 minutes you forced yourself to calm down and got back to Betty. You sat down next to her in the floor and she asked:

-"Lizzie, can I ask you a question? I know mom said it's not okay to comment on people's bodies and how much they're eating, but I want to ask you something, I think that what I want to ask you has nothing to do with that".

You panicked, you didn't really know what to expect from Betty anymore. You swallowed, prayed that she was not going to bring up again the "you are smaller" thing and nodded.

-"You look sad Lizzie, are you okay? Your face looks different and I heard you crying when you went to the bathroom some minutes ago".

-"Oh Betty, I'm sorry, I didn't want you to listen to me crying. I'm a bit sad. But I will be okay". You said feeling guilty for worrying Betty.

-"Why are you sad Lizzie? Was it something at school with your friends?" Betty asked innocently.

-"Yeah. It was a little fight, but once I go back to school I'm going to talk to my friends and everything will be back to normal. Don't worry". You said almost with a broken voice.

-"Okay Lizzie. But remember, I'm your friend too. We can play whenever you want, well, if my mom lets me" Betty said giggling.

-"I know Betty, you're my friend too. Thank you so much buddy". You said while hugging her and asking to yourself how could a child sense that you were not okay. You both kept playing until Blake called Betty downstairs, she said it was time for them to go. You said goodbye to Betty and to Blake, then Blake remembered that she left the treats she brought for you in the car, so she quickly went and grabbed them. She brought you some homemade brownies along with some beautiful earrings and a drawing made by Betty.

-"You really didn't have to bother Blake, but thank you so much. Everything's beautiful. Thank you too Betty" you said trying on the earrings.

-"Of course I had to. You're my favorite Swift" she said laughing and looking at Taylor, who was laughing too. "Get better Lizzie and please take care of yourself".

-"I will. Thank you again" you answered.

Taylor took Blake and Betty to the front door to let them out. Blake hugged Taylor, then held her hands and said:

-"I know you're really worried. I am too. But please, don't blame yourself. I know you tend to punish yourself. She's your sister, you're not her mother. Not that your mother is the one to blame either. I know this will be hard, even more taking into account your history with this stuff. I love you so much and I love her so much too. Please talk to me and keep me updated. I'm always here".

-"Thank you Blake. You are always there whenever I need it. Love you".

Taylor closed the door and went back to the living room, she was decided to have that difficult conversation with you before your mom came back.