Welcome to Raspberry Reviews - your go-to spot on Wattpad for top-notch book critiques! Our team of talented Raspberries is here to provide expert feedback to all writers. Whether you're a seasoned pro or just starting out, let Raspberry Reviews hel...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Your patience and trust have created something truly special. Get ready to dive into your custom reviews, crafted with care by your reviewer at Raspberry Reviews. Your journey in the Macaron Community is about to get even sweeter. Enjoy!
The cover is appropriate according to the title and the blurb is good on words. But I felt that you should've made the blurb a bit more intense by describing more on her pain and then her after her transformation rather than explaining the whole thing in one go. You should describe her mindset change but not the story plot to make it more interesting. And the cover feels a bit too light for the story. Since the female lead is very powerful, the background should've been a bit more intense.
Extras: 9/10
I love the fact that you took the time to explain things about the stories in the extra chapter. That gave a lot more clarifications about things in the story.
Character development: 8/10
It kind of feels off when the female lead is strong in her mind and weak on the front. It kind of unsettled a reader when they read her thoughts and her handling of it that comes off from a strong character but she stammers when her enemies come face to face. And I feel like, the part where the make lead becomes jealous of him holding another's boy's hand could be a bit more intense. I also suggest a bit more attention to the side character's personality development.
Vocabs and words: 7/10
Amazingly, I didn't detect any grammatical errors but I felt that you could switch to more creative words. For a simple understanding, it's fine the way it is. But to make it a bit more attractive and adhering to the world where ranks are there, I suggest you take some time with your choice of words.
Story development: 7/10
I felt that you were rushing quite a bit to spoil all the backstories. Though it helps in understanding, it gives no feelings when readers know what happened and why happened. Especially the mother's story and the sister's story could come off a bit better if you had elaborated on her pains and made her miss them a bit. Try adding more emotions to make the readers feel her pain and then you describe the backstories. I felt like the story was a bit on rush. Like you explain everything in one go. It helps if you keep the backstories a bit more secretive and intense and unlock it with the character's actions like missing them not through random thoughts.
Title & Plot
The title is based on the mate's rejection so a bit more scenes of the mate would have been better. And more description of his rejection and the rare love and affection that comes off sometimes. You could also slow down a bit on the part where the male lead Apologizes to the female lead because it's too soon. And I would say the same thing I already mentioned, the story plot is good but feels a bit rushed given that so much changes in just a few starting chapters.
Overall
I am glad you took the time and effort to describe things, something that most people don't. But it would be better if you described things in the way I pointed out. Some more feelings could help. Rather than putting it in words, you could try to describe the actions of the abuse she undergoes and the pain she suffers. But I felt that the story development was pretty good and a good story is getting cooked up. At last, thank you for making me your reviewer. I enjoyed the story quite a lot personally and couldn't help but give you an honest review to make it more better.
~ Serena
We hope you are satisfied with your review! Don't forget to recomend us to your friends!
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
