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A Lolita's Diary: The Pre-Lolita Life by Superwicked
Note: The following review is written by someone with no real writing credentials (uni degrees and anything of sorts), only the experience of many years within the Wattpadian writing world and having written over 50 reviews in the past 3 years. Please note that reviews are subjective and not law, that they're opinions and should be taken with a pinch of salt. If the following review in any way offends you, please note that that is not the goal and it is one person's view of your story. You are entitled to agree or disagree with the raised points. If you are hurt and need to leave hate comments to feel validated, please don't. The reviewer would not be affected by it in any way. Thank you.
Title and Cover: The title is original and easy to recall. I admit I first thought it was referring to Nabokov's Lolita and that threw me off guard. Regardless, I find the title interesting and I think it draws attention.
Following the book's theme, the Japanese fashion style, I think the cover fits that theme perfectly. Both the background picture and the font used for the title match it. That said, I don't see the author's name on the cover and that is a customary part.
Blurb: The blurb works nicely. It includes an important quote to the beginning of Rosetta's life as an outcast, which I find would draw readers' curiosity.
The author manages to convey a description of middle school as well as the main conflict of the story. Further developing Rosetta's introduction could help make it better, though. The tilde around sentences is unnecessary.
Plot/Flow: The beginning paragraphs were confusing. The story starts with a simple explanation of what middle school is in the US, but the first paragraphs seem to contradict each other.
The story flows quick but nicely and the premise is very interesting and works well. That said, I believe the chapters I read are only the beginning, the fall of Rosetta, and the real story will begin now.
These first chapters rely on the introduction of several characters such as Rosetta and her friends. We learn little about them, and yet the interactions are meaningful and enough to get attached to Rosetta. From the blurb, we knew her life was about to crash so she could become the social outcast, and knowing this, it's easy to pick up on certain behaviors such as Andrew's texting and so on.
Overall, I found the beginning well thought out and a good premise for the book.
Descriptions: The descriptions are well written, although some are a bit info-dumpy. In general, they are pleasant to read and paint an image in the reader's eyes.
Characterization: From the beginning, we get to know Rosetta, her boyfriend and her friends, and from the beginning, it is clear they are not the nicest people.
Mckayla is the most obvious of them all, and Andrew was acting suspiciously from the first chapters, but the rest of her friends are a lot harder to catch onto. The foreshadowing to what would happen is very well done.
Rosetta is naive and seemingly a people pleaser. Her character development is pushed by her boyfriend and friends who betray her. Still, her first thoughts usually hold herself accountable for her friends' actions, which shows her lack of self-esteem. She is a well-crafted character who I hope will grow stronger as the story progresses.
Writing: Expressions such as "It's like" and "Blah blah blah" give the story a diary-like feel and show that it's a teenager narrating. This makes the writing more personal and close to Rosetta and further develops her character.
The comparisons along the story also make it fun and a light read. Yet, there are repetitions of information that has already been previously established in short periods in the beginning chapters.
Some sentences should be split to increase readability. There are some misspellings, punctuation missing, as well as words. There are dialogues of more than one person in some paragraphs when each character should have their own paragraph.
For dialogue, here are some rules:
When it's the same person talking don't split the paragraphs.
Dialogue should always be between quotation marks.
For punctuation, there are two ways to finish dialogue
E.g.
"Lara likes honey," said Brianne. (US) or "Lara likes honey", said Brianne. (UK)
This is when the quote ends in a dialogue tag, a continuation of the sentence. Every time we finish the quote with a dialogue tag we place a comma after the quote.
This is when the quote ends and a new sentence begins. "Brianne frowned" isn't complementary, but an action unrelated to the quote, so we put a full-stop on the quote before the new sentence.
Overall enjoyment: Rosetta is an interesting character easy to get attached to, and having a good main character makes a story more enjoyable. Because it is easy to like her, it is also easy to feel nervous when we know she's going to get hurt and feel hopeful that she will overcome her struggles. This makes the story enjoyable as we root for Rosetta.
Good luck with your future projects and thank you for choosing me as your reviewer.
~ Astrid.
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