Secrets Untold

n i n e

"Okay... just call me if you need anything." And with that Yoongi waves goodbye bye to me and walked out the door. I can hear Jungkook let out a sigh and then turn in his bed. I look over to see he's wrapped in his blanket and it looks like he's slightly shivering. It's not long before I hear him start sniffling and by this point I know he's crying. What should I say? Should I even say anything at all?

"Um... Jungkook." I called for his name and he went completely silent. The sniffling stopped and his breathing basically stopped.

"You said you were okay but... it doesn't look or sound like you are." I was brave enough to actually try and talk to him.

"It's nothing."

"If it's nothing then why are you crying?"

"I'm not crying! Just mind your own fucking business Jimin!"

"Fine! Whatever!" The second I grab my bag to leave he jumps up and grabs my wrist stopping me from walking out the door.

"I'm sorry." His voice sounds so soft and vulnerable as he cries out the words. I can't stay here any longer my heart is beating out of my chest.

"Let go of me Jungkook." I try to get him to let go of me and he refuses. Why would he even grab me anyways?

"Don't go." He pleads and something in my heart shatters when I see a tear fall down his face.

"You-"

"I'm sorry please don't go." His eyes are big as saucers as he practically begs me to stay.

"You want me to stay?"

"Yes." I've never heard Jungkook be so sure and open about wanting me around. He doesn't say anything else but he also doesn't let my wrist go. Unsure of what to do I pull him to sit on my bed with me.

"I didn't mean to... say that." He closes his eyes like he's cursing himself out him his head.

"It's okay." I manage to mumble out and he drops his head into his hands.

"My mom... she passed away when I was thirteen. Tomorrow is the day it happened all those years ago." He explains and I realize this is the most vulnerable he's very been with me.

"I'm really sorry that happened. I- I'm sure she'd love the man you've become." I do my best to comfort him and he chuckles lightly.

"There's... nothing to love about me." He talks lowly and in a depressed manor but I can't sit here and let him say something like that. 

"Shut up that's not true." I argue and he immediately locks his eyes with mine.

"Name one good thing about me." His face is plain and unamused.

"You never back down from a fight no matter what. That makes you determined and strong." I answer quickly and he scoffs and rolls his eyes.

"That makes me stubborn and unbearable. Be real that's what you hate most about me." He responds and even though the first sentence might be somewhat true the second is completely false.

"I am being real. You're annoying but I know you're capable of being decent too." I try to sympathize with him but he scoffs.

"Seriously I'm the one that's annoying?" His tone raises as he rolls his eyes.

"Welp moment ruined. Get off my bed." I pull my arm away and he finally lets go of my wrist. Why had he been holding it all this time? And why did I let him?

"The words just fall out of my mouth. I'm sorry." He apologizes again and I've never seen him being genuine when apologizing before. It's so different when his stare is pleading instead of menacing.

"I'm letting this bipolar ass behavior go because you're going through a lot right now." I cross my arms and he sits with his hands in his lap not knowing what to say next.

"I really am sorry Jimin. My natural reactions to situations are usually wrong." He admits and something flashes in his eyes. It was a mix a worry, anxiety and what looked like fear.

"Then I come down from the initial impulse and... sometimes I really regret what I say." He hesitates in explaining but after he does I stay quiet for a second. I stay stuck in my thoughts for a second about how I feel about Jungkook.

He doesn't want to be like this.

"I'm sorry. For everything Jimin really." It feels like the millionth time I've heard him say those two words today. I never thought that he and I would ever get here.

"Remember we tried the whole starting over thing? That didn't really work out." He doesn't say anything but he nods agreeing with me. After a minute or two goes by he turns to look at me again.

"A truce then?" He asks looking hopeful and I want to giggle at how cute his begging eyes are but I stop myself.

"Yes a truce." I give him a small smile and that makes his face light up.

"Okay but you aren't just saying this right? And then we'll be fighting again tomorrow?" I ask just to make sure and honestly to check how he would react.

"No more fighting, no more bringing up the past. We're officially starting a truce." His answer is enough to have me feeling at ease with him being my roommate. He hops off my bed and plops down on his own blushing with a cute little smile. Ahem- I mean a small grin that was definitely not cute at all. It just feels like for once we are on the same page.

"Oh and Jungkook..." There was one thing I really did need to apologize for.

"Yea?" He responds letting out eyes lock again. It's something about the shape and color of his eyes that always put me in a trance.

"I'm so sorry for the times I accused you... of not knowing pain or struggle. Losing your mother... I know that had to have been really hard on you." I admit and apologize and he shakes his head again.

"You're forgiven there's no way you could've known." He forgives me quickly which I wasn't really expecting. I don't know what to expect out of us anymore.

"Tomorrow will be tough is there anything I can do?" I ask and he shakes his head.

"Honestly just you being here is enough." The words make my stomach turn. I very quickly turned away to hide my face from his view. I've gotta get this blushing under control before he gets the wrong idea. Maybe it's just because I'm not used to him talking so nicely to me?

Whatever it is it has to stop.

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