Don't Let The Parasite Bite

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"I'm assuming you'll be trying to go to sleep," James said. "That would be the best option to help in curing your sickness, so I'd gain nothing from stopping you. Can you walk back or must I carry you?"

James' bed was much softer and had much more space, it couldn't be a hard decision at all for you to complain about having to go back, even though it probably wouldn't get you anything anyway. The more you could annoy James, the better you would feel---at least mentally, and that was the only part you could improve right now, it seemed.

"I don't...wanna go back..." you drowsily mumbled with no real intention rather than hearing James have to argue for a few seconds.

"Well, the only other option you have is my bed, and I am NOT sleeping on the couch. But I'm not forcing you to stay here. Wouldn't you rather go back to your own room so you can conspire your escape in privacy?"

"My escape? I've...given up on that. Do I look like I'm...in the condition to escape to you?

"More than I am."

That sentence could have so many implications, you guessed, but before the silence gave you time to think about it, James decided to cover it up with more of his incessant talking.

"But if you really despised me so much, wouldn't you want to go back to your old room regardless of how nice this one is? Or has my alluring charm grown on you?"

"The only thing that's grown on me...is this bed. And sickness. Mostly this bed."

"My bed," James reminded. "You want to sleep in my bed."

"Yes, James, sound it out...take your time...I'm sure it's a rare request for you..."

"That is uncalled for. While true, I'll have you know it's certainly not because I'm unattractive. In fact, it's because I'm so attractive that women are intimidated by me."

"Alpha male mentality." You glanced at the inside of James' closet, home to all of the finest gowns and frivolous summer dresses. "Are they intimidated by your closet as well?"

"Of course they are, because I'm in it most of the time. How else would I look this good?"

You smiled. "You're...in the closet?"

"Now hang on---"

"No, no, you're the one who said it."

"Regardless of what your baseless speculations are, what does my sexuality have to do with you, hm?"

"Nothing yet."

"Yet?!"

"Will you just shut up and let me sleep?"

"And where do you suppose I sleep, then?"

"Does it look like I'm taking up the whole bed to you?"

"You're implying I sleep with you?"

"Oh, how scandalous. Quit being a prude. If you're so uncomfortable with it I'm sure the couch is an option...or the bed upstairs."

"Certainly not. Move over. You'd best hope your sickness isn't contagious."

"As you wish, James."

You slowly slid yourself over until you were on the far left edge of the bed, leaving more than enough room for James, given how big the bed was.

You laid on your side, smirking while watching James stare at the space on the bed uncomfortably. Given that he certainly did have other options of where to sleep, it was clear he was only doing this to save whatever little shred of pride he had left. And in doing so, burning that shred completely.

"Take your time, James. I have all night."

"I'm sick of your teasing," James said as he forced himself onto the bed in an act of...proving...something.

"Are you now? If you're so sick of it you'd go upstairs so you wouldn't have to hear another word."

You both laid on your sides, facing each other, about a foot apart.

James smiled. "But I know you're just so sick and helpless you couldn't last a minute without your shining savior."

"Other way around. You're so lonely you couldn't last a second without me."

"Maybe it's both then!"

You almost laughed. "Maybe it's both."

You both stared for a few seconds, as if it was some sort of competition. You sighed, looked down, and turned to be on your back. "I'm sure you wouldn't like my sick and miserable face staring at you all night."

James turned onto his back as well. "You're implying you would do that if given the chance."

"You looked like you could go for a while too."

"I won't deny it. My endurance in bed is almost as great as on the battlefield."

You stifled a laugh, then choked and started cackling.

It was silent for a few seconds. You sighed again. "This is very awkward."

"You're the one who wanted this so badly."

"No no, I wanted the bed. You're the one who insisted you slept in the same bed."

"It's my bed!"

"You're strong, you could have carried me out."

"Don't test me. Maybe I should do that right now."

"You could if you wanted to."

"I'm feeling generous."

"Surrrrre."

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