"How could I forget."
Ping. The sound ricocheting through my body, prickling at my skin and aching my soul in the most unlikely of ways, making my insides itch with the burn of a crackling fire. My stomach drops and my heart pangs, with what... Fear? Lust? Regret?
No, Relief.
An unimaginable relief that I never thought I'd feel settles over me, not since the day I left Ravi, left my family, left my home, have I felt anywhere close to this. Oh and god, My shoulders haven't felt so weight free since the day I first knocked on Ravi's door, asking him to join me in the whirlwind of a rollercoaster we've been on. I still remember the moment my fist collided with his door, the moment that changed my life and still I haven't for the life of me been able to decide if it was for the better or worse.
When I saw his confused face peek out of the door, I never would have thought in a million years that i'd be here, but looking back now. I wouldn't have changed it for the world, It changed me alright.
I release the tension in my hand when I realise how hard i'm grasping my phone, I lift my phone, mostly to see if it's still intact but really I want to see the message again, I need to. I'm somehow still in shock, There's still a lingering worry in my subconscious wondering if it was all a sick dream and the message has disappeared, or if it was ever there.
But to my great satisfaction, the message still waits for me, along with my reply.
Sent 3 minutes ago.
Reality sets in quick and suddenly, punching me in the gut with a sickening realisation. What do I do now? My heart threatens to pick up its pace again but I refuse. Do I go home? what kind of question is that, I instantly throw back at the part of my mind asking these ridiculously obvious questions, in fact it's not even a question, of course I have to go home. But what do I tell school? the logical part of me chimes in again.
The question never gets answered as the more exciting possibilities in my brain take over. I get to see my parents and Cara... my heart pangs with an emotion I've kept locked away for far too long, so long it feels foreign to me, foreign to that girl that used to feel sympathy for the bad she did.
and God... Ravi. I get to see Ravi, My Ravi.
Before I know it I'm racing towards my dorm room, no rational thoughts in my mind, as I pack my belongings and make my way to the train station. The lack of never ending questions come back in a stampede once i'm here, the vast majority of them unanswered; racing around my mind as my leg juts on the station floor, but atleast I know the answer to one.
Im going home.
_________________________________________________________________
Thanks for reading! if anyone wants another part just let me know, but if no one enjoyed it then there's no point really is there 🤣
Word count: 536
YOU ARE READING
A Good Girls Guide to Guilt
Mystery / ThrillerThe Crown vs Max Hastings verdict has just been read and Pip can finally go back to her old life after an exhausting 2 years of no contact with the people she loved. But will the guilt she feels for everything she's done allow her to?
