~Addiction~ Lucifer Morningstar X Reader

Chapter I

(Trigger Warning: Self harm, suicide)

Her fingers are trembling with the blade in her hands. The dark red blood quickly cooled down as it hit the white sink and tiles of the bathroom, she had locked herself in. The deep pain of every cut was keeping her somewhat grounded while the sight of her blood flowing down her pale arms had her mesmerized. Both feelings were fighting against one another. The dread feeling in the girls chest was stronger than anything else she was feeling at the moment, making her feel a melancholic emptiness that made her keep cutting deeper into the soft skin of her arm. The razor blades cuts were so precise and thin that the cuts just wouldnt stop bleeding. But was that a bad thing? A part of her longed to indulge more into herself destructive behavior and maybe end it all. Oh, how many times did she want to end it all already, but she had been too scared of the consequences every time. What if the suicide attempt failed? What would her friends and family think? Would anyone even notice, or would her landlord try to reach her for not paying her bills and stumble upon her decayed and rotting corpse after months?

The 22-year-old woman leaned her head back and created another deep cut in her wrist with her blade. Why should she care what happened once she was dead? She would be gone and would finally get out of this hell. (Y/N) closed her eyes and took a deep breath. The suicide letter had been written weeks ago, but she didn't have the guts to do it back then. The blade was so sharp that it would cut with the slightest of pressure on it and now that she was slowly cutting so deep, she flinched in pain. That was new. She hadnt flinched from self-harm ever and now this? How pathetic. As she opened her eyes again, the blood was gushing out of her wrist. The blade in her hand was stained with the crimson red substance, making her hands shake from this feeling. It was frightful, she could feel her blood leaving her body and after mere moments, the young woman became very dizzy and sank down, leaning against her bathroom wall. There was nothing she could do about this anymore, she had decided her fate and now that she had done it after so many years of her passive suicidal thoughts and her self-harm, the woman felt scared. Her heart was beating faster as she looked down on her wrist, the blood staining her arm, clothes, and the floor.

The crimson blood looked so amazing, it was everywhere on the white tiles, glistening in the light of her lamp. How could this be so fatal for her and be so beautiful at the same time. Her head felt dizzy, and she could barely hold open her eyes anymore. With a last look on her suicide letter, (Y/N) read her apology to the one who will find her and to her friends before she closed her eyes for the last time...

The next thing she felt was her soul detaching from her mortal body and falling. Why was she falling? This was supposed to be the moment where she would die, where everything would end, and the suffering would stop. But that didnt happen. (Y/N) opened her eyes and saw the ground rapidly coming closer before she hit it painfully hard. After she hit the ground, she fell unconscious for a few minutes. Once she woke up, her head hurt, and she was confused. What had happened? Her body took a moment to get used to the pain and when she finally looked up, her eyes widened. The skies were red and all around her were tall and intimidating buildings. As (Y/N) got up, deformed humanoid things, demons and other creatures were just walking by as if it was a normal day, most of them looking disgusting and fucked up while the taller buildings looked like they belonged to the high society because of how extravagant they were. Maybe this was all just a bad dream, and she would wake up soon.

"Heya, looking for a good time, girly?", a tall creepy demon asked with a smirk, stepping out of an alley. The girl shakes her head quickly and took a step back from him, already smelling the alcohol on him from a few steps away. She took that as my cue to keep walking and ignore him, not wanting any more weird incidents. Everything around her looked so plastic and real, was this really a dream? Of course it was, why wouldnt it be? It must have just been a long time since she had a lucid dream like this.

The young woman almost tripped over something while looking up to the skyscrapers and the red sky, before realizing that she had just stepped on a decaying pile of organs in the middle of the street. This must be one of the most bizarre dreams she had in a long long time. The next few hours were spend getting to know her surroundings and avoiding creeps as she waited to finally wake up. But she didnt. Why wouldnt she wake up already? The walking around was tiring and her left shoulder still hurt from her landing. Pain, thats it! Without more thinking, she tries to pinch herself. And when that didnt work, she even slapped herself across the face, but still nothing. Her movements froze as she realized where she was and that she had died, not remembering how it happened. Someone walking behind her walked into her, just pushing her to her knees without a single care for the small woman. As soon as she got back on her knees, she ran towards the next window on eye height, looking at herself in the reflection. Oh god, how could that be? Her hair had turned white, her skin was a light purple, and her eyes were black with a deep blue iris. This was new and a not so welcome change. And wow, she was short...

No matter how long (Y/N) waited, she did not wake up. After long hours of walking and ignoring anyone talking to her, she decided to find a shelter for the night, where she could rest in peace. That was a harder task than she would have thought. In every weird alley, creeps and trash and corpses rotting were everywhere. When she finally found a secluded place where she could at least rest for a few hours, she immediately took it and it took quite some non-existent arm strength to get up onto the very low roof of a bar. There might be loud music booming from underneath her, but at least creeps couldnt get to her. Even on earth, such guys had been disgusting, but here they looked even worse. Minutes after (Y/N) started falling asleep, a trap door to the roof was opened and the apparent owner climbed up. "What are ya doing on my roof, brat?", he asked, not amused by her presence. (Y/N) quickly tried to explain that she had just stranded here and didnt want any trouble. The shark resembling demon grinned and stepped closer.

"Ya know, I could offer ya a.. Deal."

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It's been some time since we last wrote, I hope you guys like it!

(also, the Picture on top is the Little Sketch for (Y/N)s Looks and we'll use it for future sketches)

Wordcount: 1257 words

Everything: By Moon

Simping: By Moon and Fawn