Reminiscence

Hold on

Iruka doesn't know what to think, what to feel, or what to expect. He'd always wanted to teach, in fact, he'd been begging the Hokage for a spot at the academy. Having learned long ago that he wanted to play a hand in shaping the young, growing minds of the village's most precious treasures. And yet, standing there, staring at the boy who'd held within him his most twisted nightmares, he didn't know what to do.

How was one supposed to react, staring at such a creature? He remembers it oh so vividly, it makes his heart twist, his eyes clenching tight as if to dispel the horrid image, banish it from his thoughts and into the depth of his soiled mind. Six years ago, a monster had been unleashed and with its freedom, it had taken the people Iruka had loved most in this life. His safety, his worth, his warmth. All of it.

Staring at the vessel sitting in front of him, he can't quite rid himself of the thought. Comparable to an incarnation of a mirage, tendrils alive and swaying twist their hold around the boy, making it hard to truly see anything other than what resides within him.

He'd been advised to disregard the boy, a nuisance worth no more than the flies he'd swat away during his lectures. One to be ignored and shunned. And yet, why was it so hard to do so?

The boy was quiet, withdrawn, never interrupting, and never trying to stand out. Somehow, he'd expected something entirely too different. Something about him unsettled Iruka to the core. And, to his ever-rising shock, it had nothing to do with the monster he stored within him.

Slowly, as if without him ever noticing anything different, he'd started seeing behind the pitch-black tendrils enveloping his vision.

What he found was in some ways, worse than what his troubled mind had conjured. Somehow, instead of the dark creature he'd fooled himself into seeing he'd discovered something far worse. As time went by, as he let himself open his eyes and really look at what was waiting before him, he finally got to see what he'd been hiding from his very own perception. A twisted mirror image, rippling like the murky waters of a running river, was a reflection of himself. One so small, and very much alone.

It made his insides twist, palms clenching with the need to push the entire thing away, expel it from his attention, and go back to his cowardly ignorance.

Because surely, the source of his most vivid, heart-wrenching nightmares wasn't this small, lonely child.

"-Sensei?" The words snapped him out of his daze, his face hot with the sudden realization that he'd been standing there, frozen solid while staring at his student. Looking away, noting the hunched shoulders and the stiffness of his posture, he resolved himself to proceed with the lesson without any more life-altering realizations.

"Sorry, Sakura-chan, could you repeat that?" He answered, keeping his voice light despite the trembling of his fingers, thankfully hidden within his sleeves.

"You were asking who wanted to go up to the board for the next question, can I do it." She wasn't really asking, he thought with slight amusement.

"Sorry Sakura, but you've answered the last two haven't you? Why don't we let your classmates have a turn too? I'm sure some of them would like to." He'd barely finished his sentence before multiple arms shot up high. Letting his gaze wash over the little ninjas in the making, he readied himself for what he was about to do. Breathing in deeply through his nose, he plastered a smile onto his face, overlooking the sea of hands for the only figure sitting with both arms down. Blonde strands swayed with the slight breath trickling into the classroom through the open window, drawing attention to the deep blue of the boy's eyes as they parted and collided.

"H-how about you, Naruto?" He hated how his voice broke, betraying the discomfort he felt. "Would you like to give it a go?" The boy in question jumped at being so suddenly singled out. Eyes wide with shock as for the first time since Iruka stepped into the classroom a week ago, addressed him directly, even if a little hesitantly.