The Order

Sigal Induced Road trip

Callan

I couldn’t sleep. 

I listened to music for hours, hoping it would help. But even the most soothing classical music didn’t work. I had too much on my mind for Ludovico Einaudi  or Bach to get through. Well, not a lot, just one thing–one person.

I couldn’t get Harper out of my fucking head after clearing the air two days ago. It was as if a weight had been lifted, but it was replaced with something else that I couldn’t figure out.

After clearing the air two days ago, a weight had been lifted but it was replaced with something else that I couldn't figure out. I didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing. Well, it was a good thing for morale and the best thing for Cameron. But I didn’t know if it was a good thing for me.

 Since we met, she’s always plagued my thoughts, but not like this. Those thoughts were accompanied by anger and annoyance with her presence. 

But now? Now, they centered on her smile, laugh, and the warmth I felt in my chest when she grabbed my hand to keep me in the bathroom. My thoughts turned and I imagined what she looked like behind that fucking shower curtain. I couldn’t stop myself from imagining how she would feeI with her lips pressed against mine–how she would feel moving under me. I wanted to hear my name passing her lips on a moan. 

“Fuck!” I scrubbed a hand over my face and glared at my dick that was fucking throbbing.

I haven’t had those kinds of thoughts about her since the damn witch put them there months ago. 

I wish I could blame it on still being bewitched, but I couldn’t. And I wished that this didn’t confirm what I had actually been jealous of when I found Fin and Harper together in his bedroom. I was fucking jealous of the prospect of them getting close enough to act on what my body obviously fucking wanted right now. Not jealous of him having a relationship with just anyone.

In an effort to calm my dick down, I reminded myself that wasn’t going to happen. It couldn’t happen. 

It didn’t work. 

Berating myself, I got out of bed and took a fucking cold shower. I never had to do this before. Never had to take a cold shower or jerk off to relieve the ache like this. I usually had more fucking control and could distract myself and calm down when my thoughts turned to sex and couldn’t act on it. Then again, I’ve never thought of sex with anyone in such fucking detail before.

Even though I wasn’t usually fazed by being around anyone naked, since we’ve been around before everyone felt shame and started covering their bodies,  I knew I fucked up by having the conversation while Harper was in the shower. I blamed all this on that and the fact that I haven’t had sex in almost a year. I shouldn't have rushed in there like that, but I knew I wouldn’t go through with it if I waited.

I shook my head, cursing myself as I threw on a pair of joggers and left the bathroom. 

As soon as I made it to my room, a blood-curdling scream ricocheted off the walls. My heart jumped into my throat and I ran out of the room just as Cameron's scared voice shouted for his mom to wake up. 

 I didn't think, only acted and slammed the door open so hard that the handle impaled the wall behind it.

"Callan, help Mom! She won't wake up!" The kid begged with tears in his eyes.

A sheen of sweat covered her skin and she writhed in the bed beside her son.

I quickly closed the distance. One glance at Cameron, and I knew he was on the verge of freezing up like he did the day we found him.