The Regretevator writing dump / oneshots (regretefic)

Treachery of theories (and love) (Spive)

'Yeah spud- it was spud REALLY big spud- and left this gross thing spud spud- missing texture I  think spud think?"

'MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MREOW MEWO MEOW MEWOOOWWWW.'

"...I remember....but You're not suggesting that-"

"ITS A WEREWOLF!!!!" Bive raised and flailed her hands up, causing split flinched.

Bive immediately relaxed, trying not to scare split as she shook her head "I was gonna say an infection of some sorts-?"

Well there's that. BUT. all the descriptions we have so far of that BEAST has been CONSISTENTTT!!! WHICH MEANS ITS DEFINITELY A WEREWOLF!!"

"How is it a werewolf and not like...just a beast?"

"IT ONLY COMES OUT AT NIGHT!! AND EVEN THEN IT WOULD DISAPPEAR FOR A COPIUS AMOUNT OF TIME AND THEN AGAIN PEOPLE WOULD DESCRIBE IT TO BE UNNATURALLY HUMANE IN SOME WAYS!! DONT YOU SEE !?!?"

Split blinked and just decided to go with it "um...ok? G-go on."

Bive grinned "thank you, as I was saying, WITH ALL THAT I CAN FINALLY MAKE MY FINAL CONCLUSION!! TO IDENTITY THE ORIGINS OF WHO THE WEREWOLF REALLY IS!!"

Split stared at bive, who just stopped randomly, she looked away awkwardly for a brief moment before speaking "go onnn"

"the only other place where the missing texture stuff comes from is infecteds apartment...which means...UNPLEASANT GRADIENT IS THE BEASTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Split squinted her eyes and raised her eyebrow "ok now this is-"

"WAIT!! HEAR ME OUT-! It couldn't be the others because well, tbh, obviously not. And besides, if infected was the supposed beast, he would've finished off unpleasant due to his hatred for him.."

Split scratched her chin curiously, bive wasn't wrong on that one.

"And you wanna know who had connections with builderman and Jane doe!? The couple who were the beasts FIRST EVER RECORDED VICTIMS!??"

"..u-unpleasant?"

"YEASSSS!!"

Split just blinked and thought for a moment, which was unlike her as she'd usually just avoid or dismiss bive's nonsensical talking, but she did have a point here... unpleasant wasn't really liked, he lived with infected, in that weird ass apartment that'd also seemingly get covered with missing textures, it surprised split how unpleasant didn't catch whatever infected had.

Or maybe he already did and it transferred to infected.

Plus, unpleasant wasn't usually seen away with infected, and to top it off, he wasn't exactly liked by anyone. Neutral (with a slight discomfort) at best, and hated at worst.

Split turned to bive, who was shaking at the anticipation at splits words. Maybe she was expecting approval?

"You know...you actually aren't too far off with this one-"

"YES!! YESYESYESYES I KNEW YOU'D AGREE!! HAHA!" Bive immediately ran to split and hugged her tightly, kissing her all over her face, split blushed and giggled "oh you- but I do have one question-"

Bive stopped for a brief moment and tilted her hairy head.

"You see, like...I don't know more obsessed with this than any other case I've seen you talk about...why's that?"

Bive stopped, her usual maniacal grin curbed down a bit, she looked away for a moment "uhh..IT WAS INTERESTING!" She suddenly lit up, turning to split "nothing to worry about!"

Yeah there was something to worry about alright, but split just decided to let it go for the meantime as bive quickly broke the tight hug and scurried back to her billboard, jittering and shaking in nervousness, split noticed that her energy was probably through the roof, and decided to go over and calm bive down before she does anything rash again-

"Now!! We must find a way to CAPTURE the beast and prove myself RIGHT!!! First-"

Split suddenly just hugged bive from behind, deciding to oh calm down bivey, are you sure you don't want to take a break?"

"But- THE BEAST!!"

"I know but you're getting too excited again..and besides we haven't hung out in forever-"

"Hmmm...you're correct..."

"Don't you just wanna watch a movie? I'll make snacks!"

"Are you sure the movie won't contain PROPAGANDA!?!?"

"I promised, I watched it 2 times to make sure. I just want to watch it a third time with you..and we can cuddle-!"

The cuddling comment made bive blush, and internally giggle and squirm "hehehehe- alright fine, but after the movie we shall capture THE BEAST!!!!!!!!!"

Split smiled "sure, whatever makes you happy dear" she picked the hairy creature up bridal style, kissing her on the cheek, causing bive to let out another giggle of joy, looking forward to their little 'session', Completely unaware of the pair of eyes staring through the small crack of her ceiling.