at the beginning my mind told me not to trust those who come across too welcoming. my mind always told me everyone who knew me would eventually turn their backs on me. but my heart has always let me down by being too empathetic for my own good. my mind screams out warning signs and i can't help but scream out to the sky for cursing me with such a deceptively cold exterior plus a heart that warms up to the sight of anyone in need of help and willing to take advantage of my trust. am i expected to grow accustomed to this kind of lifestyle? one where people persistently misjudge my character and misread my true intentions? a life where i pay the price for everyone else's bad karma? how does that seem just within the laws of the universe? how can my life be put at stake for everyone else's karmic debts?
while everyone thrives off my misfortunes, i will laugh and try to remain strong because i cannot cry anymore. crying has gotten me nowhere except for left behind in an unending cycle of lost hopes for myself and everyone around me. i did not dare to dream about becoming anything better than this because my fate seems to be determined by the stars, and the stars seem to have turned a blind eye lately. why would my destiny be mapped out with mistake after mistake?
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patterns of anaxiphilia
Poetrytemet nosce. trigger warning. highest rankings #2 in blackpoetry #2 in prosecollection eighth poetry collection (2024)
