In the Shadows

Part Fifteen: the Break

    "Hello, beautiful." He smiled up at me, walking to the passenger side door while still holding me. It wasn't until the door was open that he put me back down. I watched him hustle to the other side of the car. Sliding in, he turned the keys then reached over to buckle my seatbelt in. Anthony brushed a stray hair out of my face before taking and kissing my hand.

    "I was planning to meet you downtown." I said to him playfully, watching the neighborhood pass by.

    "I know you said that, but I couldn't let you walk that far if I could help it. Besides, I took the keys before my mom woke up so she couldn't say no anyway." He seemed pleased with himself.

    We drove for only a few minutes before he pulled up to an office park I didn't recognize. The grey stucco building hardly had any windows beside the tinted glass doors. Each suite had a different business name printed in small white font. Anthony put the car in park and held tightly to the steering wheel as he took a deep breath.

    "Anthony, what is this place?" I asked nervously, "I thought we would just hang out, maybe grab lunch."

    "Stephanie..."

    My heart was beginning to race. What wasn't he telling me? Where am I? What's going to happen? For the first time in what felt like ages, I felt the beginnings of an anxiety attack. Suddenly, I couldn't breathe.

    I felt my worry minimize slightly as he rested a hand on my shoulder. He must have seen me tensing up. If only his large, rough, hands could only hold me forever and never let go.

    "This is Dr. Blankenburg's office. He's a therapist. Better than anything else, he's the one who helped me through my hard times. I set up the appointment and everything. I'm sorry to catch you off guard, I thought you would say no if I asked before hand. I'm not going to force you to go in; if you aren't ready, just say the word and I will drive away now. But promise me you'll think about it?"

    I didn't even begin to know how to respond. I felt my lip quiver. Going from so much anxiousness to relief that quickly sent my body into shock. My head fell into my hands as I cried loudly.

    "Hey, hey, hey. Steph, please don't cry." Anthony's voice was low and calm. He unbuckled his seatbelt, leaning over the wide faux leather center console to give me a huge. "I'm sorry, this was a bad idea."

    "No." I choked up, "No, Anthony this- this is so sweet of you."

    "Look at me." He wiped away my runny make up. "Stephanie, if love alone was enough to heal you, you wouldn't even have a scar. I care about you more than you could possibly know."

    He completely took my breath away.

    "You are so... Stephanie, I cannot bare to imagine life without you. You are incredible. And right now, you need a little extra help. I will be right here. I am not going anywhere."

    I pulled him in to a wet, messy, kiss. I wanted to breathe him in. In that moment, I couldn't get close enough. I could feel my heart pressing against my ribs, wanting to reach out and touch his. Anthony pulled me onto his lap, his fingers brushing through my hair.

    I was so lost in our moment, that I didn't notice the clouds roll in. The sky turned grey and a heavy downpour followed. The car windows grew foggy. I brushed the tip of my nose against his as Anthony ran his hands up and down my back. Leaning down into his embrace, I buried my face against his neck. His cologne was a blend of amber and cedar wood, with a hint of lavender. I could feel the hard curves of his abs against my soft belly.

    Sitting up to look at that beautiful boy, he wiped away my remaining tears with his thumb. I cleared my throat to speak, "I don't think I can go in today. But I will try. I promise."