Bride

-Chapter 20-

She gasped when she realized what she had done. It was already too late for regrets. She picked up the blanket and cried. What had she done?

"What are you doing, Aashi?" Veer's voice startled her.

She looked up and immediately wiped her tears away. She did  not want anyone to see her pain.

"Veer, tum yaha? Itne raat ko?"

He walked to her and held her by the shoulders gently. "What have you done?"

Khushi looked at the blanket she was holding and put it away. "It's just a blanket."

Veer looked at the blanket she had placed on the bed. He had not seen it before. He shook his head sadly.

"That was the last memory of your child. You held it dear for years....."

"I would have much more than that if Vivek did not run away with my child. That b......."

"Don't Khushi" He made her sit down, "Don't speak anything that you may regret in the future."

"I will not regret it, Veer. I know what that....."

"Did you take your pills?"

Khushi looked away. She was still on anti-depressants. She was on them for the last five years. She was thriving on the professional front but inside she was falling apart. When she stopped socializing and kept herself confined to her room and office, Veer dragged her to a counselor. She fought him but in the end she realized he was right. Her behavior was not normal. She felt saturated. There was nothing for her to do. Her business was thriving, her father was doing well. The maids took care of the household chores. Veer was always busy with races and his women.  She had too much time on her hand and nothing to do. She tried to drown herself in work but that gave her no satisfaction. The counselor helped her realize that she was holding on to her past. She did not know what to do.

The counselor suggested getting into a relationship, that is what her father wanted for her, but she not make herself trust a man again after what happened. The counsellor suggested adoption but the thought of replacing once child with another repulsed her. She let go of her own child, she felt she did not deserve another. The counsellor tried to explain it to her that it was not her fault but she could never accept that. Her heart always blamed her. In the end she had started the NGO to save children. She did not know where her child was, but she knew there were countless children around the world who needed help. If she could offer one mother the right help she needed, may be just may be there would be another Khushi.

The NGO had kept her going for years, but it could not keep her motivated for ever. She was once again faltering. Veer got up and reached for her pills. He knew she kept them beside the bed side table. he opened the bottle and was shocked to see them full. Ani-depressants were not available in bulk. The prescription was refilled every 30 days. He counted the pills. Khushi had not taken  single pill the whole month.

"You skipped pills?"

Khushi grabbed the bottle and threw it away, "These don't help"

"Come on Khushi. You know you cannot stop your pills without talking to your counselor. There can be side effects. Did you at least talk to your counsellor?"

She did not answer. Veer rubbed his face. She was acting off for days, he should have known that she was skipping pills. Every time she did that, she spiraled. That was the reason why the doctor insisted on her taking the pills regularly. Khushi needed them as much as she needed oxygen. He got up, picked up the pills and handed her one with  a glass of water.

She pushed the glass away but Veer did not give up.

"Take it Khushi, please. Don't do this to yourself."