A Black Comedy

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Harry woke up with the feeling it was going to be a morning like any other.

He cracked an eye open and saw Luna Lovegood sitting up, staring at him with wide unblinking eyes.

Harry lost the little faith he had in his initial feeling.

He then quickly thought back to when he first saw the Luna of this world. She'd waved him over to her table but he had been pulled away. He remembered Sirius called for help and then he remembered... pain.

Ginny Weasley.

No, not Ginny Weasley, Harry mentally corrected, Gin Weasley.

"Ginny is the name of a little girl who plays with dolls. A Ginny wants to be a princess. A Ginny wants to be saved by a knight in shining armor. A Ginny would get her pampered little ass kicked and thrown out of MY bar. There are very few people in this world I allow to call me that and neither of you are them. Can you remember that or do you need another reminder?"

Harry smiled in remembrance that about a half hour later Sirius had in fact received another reminder. Luna had joined them at the bar and they got to hear the story of how Gin beat Aberforth Dumbledore in a drinking contest and won herself a pub. And it had been Aberforth who had personally charmed the bar to make it easier for her to handle rowdy customers. Sirius made the mistake of asking for a demonstration and earned himself that second 'reminder.'

Harry recalled going to the mens' room and nearly making a mess as the pictures hanging above the urinals were apparently also charmed by Aberforth Dumbledore. Charmed to be action portraits of the faces made by the three most recent recipients of kicks from the charmed bar. So Harry had to try and pee straight while pictures of Sirius, Harry, and Sirius again all went pale, shivered, and had eyes that bulged out or rolled back up into their heads.

Just about everyone in the bar had been greeted and served by name. Harry had come to the conclusion that even if he'd wanted to try and play the role of the indignant noble Lord then he'd probably have a whole pub of people with something to say about that.

The most intriguing changes Harry noticed had been in Gin's attitude and character. He'd been extremely amused to see she was filled with strength, confidence, piss, and vinegar. Harry knew better than to mention it to the ghost haunting him, but he'd never been more attracted to any Weasley than when Gin looked at him indifferently. That was when he silently made a personal vow to never touch this Gin either. Primarily because it would make living with her ghost impossible.

He clearly recollected Fred and George coming by and agreeing to a partnership with them. The Black family would finance a significant expansion in exchange for a third ownership stake in the company. Requesting custom creations was planned but not until a little further in the future.

And then he remembered Luna saying something about the wuffwaffles in the air indicating it was the ideal time for enhancing the pleasure of intercourse. That was when Harry bid the three Weasleys and his godfather 'good night' and came back home with Luna.

This was where Harry's memories started to get really fuzzy. He remembered a crazed look in Luna's eye, small and furry purring, his own screams, and... something about friction inducing combustion.

"Harry?"

Harry was drawn out of his short jaunt down memory lane by the voice he'd been replaying in his head. His eyes snapped open and he saw Luna was still sitting there topless just staring at him.