I didn't give you my consent | Station 19

4 - Police report

TW: mentions of Rape, sexual assault, assault, violence

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I silently followed Carina into the room where the police officers had already sat down at the conference table. I kept my head down and didn't look at Andy as I walked past.

Carina pulled out a chair and gestured for me to sit down. I sat down and glanced up slightly to look at the officers who would be handling my case.

To my disappointment, I saw two men sitting in front of me, Mr. Gardner and Mr. Chapin. I turned my gaze to Carina, who was now also sitting and looking at me with a kind but sad and compassionate expression.

Mr. Gardner now began to open the conversation:

"Ms. Herrera called to file a report of rape and assault, is that correct?"

I was perplexed that he immediately started with what was going on and showed no sign of compassion. I felt my heart start to beat faster and I looked at Carina in panic and at the same time at the shocked looking Mr. Chapin.

Carina seemed angry and turned red at Mr. Gardners words.

Mr. Chapin cleared his throat and took over the talking:

"First of all... Hello, I'm Mr. Chapin and this is my colleague Mr. Gardner. As you know Mrs. Herrera had called for us to take a report from you, would you like or..."

He pointed to Carina, who interjected:

"Dr. Carina Deluca"

"... Dr. Deluca tell what happened and how we can help? Also if you need a break at any time, you can of course say so."

He grinned warmly at me and Carina also seemed to soften a bit again.

Mr. Gardner rolled his eyes and let himself fall into his chair crossing his arms.

I thought for a moment about whether I should tell Carina or myself what had happened. I just wanted to get away and have a shower, get everything behind me and finally sleep and be away, away in another reality where everything was still okay. I tried to suppress my tears and looked at Mr. Chapin:

"Well, I was just going to pick up my backpack from Restaurant across the street because I'd left it there and then... then there was this man on the bus who drove past me. He looked at me and grinned, got off at the next stop and ran after me..."

I couldn't hold back the tears any longer and started to sob. Carina gave me a handkerchief and I gratefully accepted it and blew my nose.

Mr. Gardner took his note and pen in his hand and said in a stern tone without giving me a break:

"What did the man look like?"

I was a little overwhelmed and had to think hard:

"I, I... I think he was wearing a red cardigan from Nike, with sweatpants, it was very wide and dark gray, his hood was up but you could see short dark brown hair."

I looked at my fingers and took a breath, but Mr. Gardner continued:

"What about his face?"

I didn't want to think about his face, it scared me and made me uneasy and I felt pain in all the places he had touched me and looked helplessly at Carina.

Carina looked urgently at Mr. Chapin and asked him to please tell his colleague to slow the fuck down.

Mr. Chapin took over the conversation again, looked at his papers, on which Andy had already written my details, and asked: