LUNACY ll Mattheo Riddle x Reader

ᴘᴀʀᴛ ɪɪɪ. ʙᴇ ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴇᴀꜱʏ ᴛᴏ ꜰᴏʀɢᴇᴛ

let it be noted that i am currently in my feral tom riddle era, we have ObsidianPen on Ao3 to thank for that, as well as the insane amount of OBSCENE a.i. voiced scenarios that youtube has provided me with; you can be sure i'll be coming out with a number of unacceptably toxic tom fics in the future

before moving onto the next chapter, we're gonna be doing a little q&a session now because why not; i'm thinking five questions in total, i'll be putting my own answers right beneath them so here we go:

1. pick three to be yours and lose the rest: mattheo, tom, draco, blaise, enzo, theo, regulus

A: pick none and lose none, just kill all eight of us (that's including me ofc) and we'll live out our happily ever after in the trenches of hell

2. kiss, marry, kill: the OG slytherin trio (draco, pansy, blaise)

A: kiss: pansy, marry: pansy, kill: myself if i fail to come up with a means of throwing myself at alice pagani

3. which era? 1) golden trio, 2) marauders, 3) slytherin boys, 4) knights of walpurgis

- obviously three but also number four, i'll admit that my level of obsession with OG tom and his boyfriends is unhealthy, but let's be real here, who are YOU to judge ;)

4. fav non-canon ship? (i'll be listing em from 'very popular to 'wtf') 1) wolfstar 2) dramione 3) jegulus 4) huna 5) pansymione 6) harmione 7) theomione 8) tomarry 9) tomione

- ...my fav ship of all time is not in the first eight, i'll tell you that much (jkjk(kind of), i love all nine of em honestly though that's not to say i don't ship the canon ships either!!)

5. of the slytherin boys(mattheo, enzo, theo, draco, blaise, tom, regulus), which of em is most likely to do what:

1) be the first to get into a fist fight

2) cries when drunk and unloads all of his trauma onto you before promptly passing out

3) shamelessly flirts with the other slytherin boys because it's funny, but he once almost ended up kissing one of em by accident

4) the first to laugh when you fall down the stairs

5) his morning greetings begin with death threats

6) secretly friends with gryffindors

7) secretly murders people but nobody knows because he's so cheerful all the time

p.s. i'm just gonna start spilling some canon theo nott facts because i got the shock of my life when i found out there are some people who never realized that he's a canon character????? time to see how big of a theo fan YOU guys are with a game of Four Truths and a Lie; figure out which of these five "facts" is the lie:

1) theodore nott can see thestrals, 2) he's the quiet boy, hardly noticeable; harry barely has any idea who he is and it's only after hermione informs harry of who theo is that harry learns theo's name at all, 3) he's a pureblood supremacist(he sniggered with draco when hermione talked about her blood status), courtesy of his father, who's so old that the man attended school with voldemort himself, 4) later in life, he duels with the Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement(aka our very own harry potter) and loses, and is thus arrested for the possession of illegal and unregistered objects, and 5) he has a ferret named draco malfoy that he keeps around in his pocket

and onto the next chapter!!