LUNACY ll Mattheo Riddle x Reader

44. ꜱɴᴀᴘᴇ'ꜱ ꜱᴇᴄʀᴇᴛ

"How come you never came to class? Y/n?"

I move past Theo, keeping my face covered with my hair as I retreat into my room. I get onto my four-poster bed, pull the curtains shut so that Pansy and Daphne won't be bothered by me. They haven't spoken a word to me since the start of term- They're never here, and when they are, they're always asleep. Or pretending to be, anyway.

I tried to give them their space. Living in the same room as a murderer can't be easy, even if the murder victim wasn't someone they were huge fans of. But now I'm missing them more than ever- I need to talk to someone about what happened, and I don't think I'd feel as comfortable confiding in the boys as I would in them.

And I obviously can't tell Mattheo about this, either... Oh Merlin, Mattheo. He'd most likely go after McLaggen himself, which would result in terrible consequences that I'd get guilty about being the cause of- And even if he didn't want to do that, he'd feel obligated to do something about it anyway, and the last thing he needs is to be forced into committing even more horrible deeds.

I race for the showers, stifling my sobs, wanting to scrub every last trace of McLaggen away from me. Drops of red mix in with the water, bringing me to stare at the charred marks on my skin. A word that seems so much worse than killer, murderer, and all that other stuff somehow.

Liar... That's what I am, isn't it? Stuck in a state of denial about absolutely everything until life forces me to take a good look at myself and figure out who I really am.

Not bothering to dry my hair properly, I throw myself into my bed and bury myself in the sheets, not planning on coming out again for a very long time.

"Y/n?"

Hours later, I freeze at the sound of Mattheo's voice. Has evening fallen already? It must have, for him to have gotten back. I hastily bring the heels of my palms to my eyes, wiping away whatever excess tears still remain. I'm sure I look horrible right now, my face a mess and my hair all tangled-

"What were you doing in here?" Mattheo looks down at me, pulling one of the curtains open.

I pretend to give a yawn. "Just a small nap," I say drowsily. "When did you get back?"

"Only a few minutes ago. Have you had dinner yet?"

I shake my head. "Not feeling hungry."

"You should still eat something. Come on, let's go up together."

"I don't want to," I insist, making sure to keep my right arm hidden underneath my pillow.

"You're sure?"

"I'm sure."

Like an idiot, I let my guard down, certain that he's going to leave.

"Y/n?"

"Hm?"

"How come you're lying like that?" Ever the intuitive one, Mattheo nods to the awkward position I've arranged myself in.

"Go up to dinner, Mattheo," I mutter, sitting up halfway to close the curtains in his face.

"Wha-" He tries to pull them open again, but I use both hands to keep them in place. "Y/n, what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong."

"I'm not stupid, Y/n, I know something's wrong."

"Will you just go up and eat?"

"Is it me? Have I upset you in some way?" he says, unexpected hurt sounding in his voice.

"This has nothing to do with you, alright? Just get out."