Ascension - Book Eight - Man x Man

Chapter 6 ( M) (new)

One of his hands grips my hip, possibly in distrust, but he doesn't retract as I guide him rhythmically. It was the little inkling of control that I needed to not go completely insane, using his mouth for my pleasure, watching his cheek fill with color as the way he looked at me as if he wished to devour me. I pull his head back, smirking as he inhales with a chuckle, grinning at me so wickedly. "And I thought I was starved." I marvel as he exposes his tongue, his lips parted as I slide back into his mouth.

Verando moans around my manhood, swallowing as much of me as I dare to give him. His free hand grips my ass as he supports my hip with the other, I buck my hips against him, shoving him against me as I get impossibly close. His devilish tongue teases me, sucking and swallowing with each stroke. "I'm so close." I manage, trembling, clenching my teeth as I attempt to retract. 

Taking me deep into his throat, the glorious man captures my eyes with that burning light gaze and I release myself into his mouth, shuddering as he encourages every last bit from me. Panting, I remove myself from his mouth as he attempts to catch his breath, knowing he was at his limit with our last attempt. Falling to my knees, I press my lips against his, pushing him backward onto the floor as he scrambles to catch himself. 

Licking my release off his lower lip, I invade his mouth with my tongue with a low moan, straddling his hips as I cling to him. "Nic. Nic. Careful." Verando reminds me, flinching as I straighten and realize I was gripping his shoulders. 

"Shit. I'm sorry, Randy." I mutter quickly, gathering his face in my hands to meet his lips again, slower this time. Yet his response is softer, more reserved, I can't help the panic rising in my chest as I attempt to coax the passion back out of him, sliding my hand between us to grope him through his pants. 

Verando jerks, inhaling sharply but ducking away to break the kiss and give me a guarded look. "Darling...."

"Please don't stop. I want to make you feel good, too." I beg, grinding against him. "This isn't fair, Randy. This is still withholding. I'm sorry, I really am, I didn't mean to grab you so hard."

I feel the emotion welling up in my eyes, unable to handle the rejection as he kisses my nose and then my cheek. "Nic-"

I curse, sliding off of him to fall onto my hip on the floor, wiping roughly at my eyes. "What?" I demand harshly, beside myself with hurt and anger. What we'd just done was incredible, and now he wanted to stop. But for what? 

"We've done plenty, you said you were alright if we didn't have sex in its entirety." Verando reminds me, carefully sitting up with a grimace. "Darling, that really did a number on my back."

"Head?" I demand in disbelief. "That is the absolute weakest excuse, Verando. Just admit that you don't want to fuck me, that will make it easier."

"You-" Verando stops, running a hand through his hair with a low grumble of something obscene. "You know what, I'm not going to explain to you how fucked up I am. It's embarrassing for me, too, Nic. We aren't even a month out, you got a brand-new body and I didn't so I'd appreciate it if you'd cut me a little bit of slack. Look at me, Nic! I'm fucking broken." Standing, he rips his shirt off, slinging it on the ground in a fit of rage out of character for him. 

Verando never yelled, so to hear him raise his voice, to see him get angry enough with me to lash out, caught me off guard. 

"We are all broken, Randy." I attempted to reason, I wasn't asking for acrobatics, I just wanted to feel connected to him again. I was convinced that if I could have that moment with him again, we could reconnect and everything would go back to the way that it was. 

Shaking his head, he puts his hands on his hips, bordering on disgust. "Did it ever occur to you that I don't feel attractive? That I don't want to have sex? That it has nothing to do with you and it has everything to do with the fact that we've come out of another active war zone more torn apart than ever, everyone is looking to me for answers, and I didn't sign up to do all of this on my own all over again?"