Pitched Off- Leah Williamson

Chapter 13

I would like to say that I'm walking down the halls of the practice facility to the locker room, but walking would be the completely wrong word, perhaps stumbling or limping would define it better. Either way, it feels like I played the full 90 minutes of the most exhausting game of my life followed by running a marathon and now my legs are paying the price for it. Except I didn't go to the gym, no, instead I spent my night doing the one thing I shouldn't have, Leah.

Now as I make my way into the locker room, Katie and Caitlin both sit on the benches, watching me with small grins on their faces. Clearly laughing at my joke of a walk.

"Good morning." I say as I approach the two of them and sit next to Katie. They both look at me, giggling.

"Damn Katie what did you do to the poor girl?" Cailtin finally says busting out laughing. My face immediately flushed with embarrassment before I turned to Katie, my eyes wide.

"You told her?" I whisper-yelled in her face before scanning the room. It was still early enough that the locker room was littered with only a few people, thankfully Leah was yet to arrive.

Caitlin composes herself and attempts to stay professional, but with a little glance and the slightest snicker from Katie, she burst out laughing again, other players in the room now looking over at us quizzically.

"I can't believe you told her." I say, desperate for them to stop laughing, "Caitlin, I swear you can't tell anyone."

"When you're walking like that it's not that hard to guess what happened to you. Honestly, be proud, I wish I was walking around like that right now." She held her hand up and Katie hit it with her own, clearly proud of it.

Flashbacks on my hands on her body, my legs shaking around her head come flying to my mind. Guilt bursts through my veins as I look between the two of them as the next image that comes soaring into memory is my body against that damn mirror.

All of this to win a game.

I roll my eyes and begin to get ready for practice. Katie noticed the change in my demeanor, and leaned down close to my ear, "Don't worry, I made Cait promise not to tell anybody. I just couldn't help but tell someone. I'm happy." She smiles and bumps my shoulder.

I look up at her with a smile, trying to make it look sincere, guilt still screaming in my head. You don't deserve her. You don't deserve her. You don't deserve her!

---

For training today, we are in the gym, and I've spend most of the time desperately trying to stay busy, stay away from my conscience, and more importantly away from Katie. How am I supposed to pretend nothing happened? How do I lie to her?

The lying part isn't exactly the issue, I mean, I don't have to lie when I say that someone made my legs this weak. Not even a lie to say that someone in this room did it to me. So, when you really boil it down... it's not really lying, just more so hiding the truth. Either way, it's bad and it's wrong, but morally speaking, isn't it better for me to spare Katie's feelings being hurt and just keep it to myself?

I am walking a fine line of technicalities.

Technically Katie isn't my girlfriend yet, just a girl I'm dating, we made no rules of who we could and couldn't sleep with.

Technically what Leah and I have is just a contract, an exchange of goods. Anyways, I signed an NDA so it's not like I could tell Katie if I wanted to. Legally I can't disclose the contents of the contract I have with Leah so even if I did tell Katie I'd never be able to tell her the full story so what is the point? Whichever path I take, I'd be lying to some degree.