Here Forever || Oumasai

Lump in my throat

Chapter 18

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The rest of the weekend was uneventful. I think the mix of the hangover and the overwhelmingness of it made for a tired Kokichi, and a tired me. 

I was grateful for being able to rest and at the same time shocked that I found someone I could lie around and do nothing with on a weekend.

Though during the Sunday evening Kokichi did disappear for a few hours to do another stream. But hastly returned to my apartment after.

I hid from him that I had been secretly watching it on my own. It felt different than seeing him stream in person.

I felt like a fan, and maybe I was becoming a fan. But his fans weren't like me. I know they wish they could have what I have.

I sound insufferable.

I need to stop becoming an insufferable fan boy over everything that interests me.

And I guess that Kokichi does interest me.

Sunday night, Kokichi slept in his apartment, after spending two nights at mine. We decided it would be for the better knowing I had to wake up early for work and he would likely want to sleep in.

I went to bed that night, feeling unexpectadly lonely. There was a warmth in the bed that was missing.

The second night he slept over, I felt nervous. The only other time I had done it was while drunk, and that eases the awkwardness. But then, it was fully conscious, and boy, was I conscious. Every single move I made felt too forward, or too close. I was scared of making him uncomfortable.

But my stirring was probably more uncomfortable for him, as he ended up grabbing my arm and wrapping it around his neck, resting his head on my chest and laying a leg over mine.

In that moment I knew I had nothing to be cautious of.

And I slept like a baby that night. Now, it lacked in my bed. I didn't know if I could sleep knowing he was behind my wall and I wasn't with him.

In the end I managed, and painfully awoke to my alarm, now a mere vibration instead of a loud beeping, knowing how thin the walls are.

It was 7 o'clock and the birds chirping outside comforted me in the wake of the morning.

I took my time in the shower, letting the warm, then cold- then warm again, water wake me up. I guess good water temperature wasn't really listed along with the apartment.

Out of the shower, I poured myself a cup of tea before stepping out onto the balcony and basking in the sunlight.

I felt like a gecko warming myself in summer.

Waking up at 7 o'clock gave me a much better feeling than waking up at 8. I didn't have to worry about rushing to work and arriving so sweaty that it washed all of the cologne off I put on that morning.

I decided that after work I would go and get actual food and ingredients, so that I could finally cook my own food. I didn't have time to pop down to the store and get supplies before work.

Just as I came to that conclusion, a knock rang from my door. 

At this hour?

I opened the door to find Kokichi smiling at me, holding out a bento wrapped in a purple furoshiki.