internet kids write oneshots

kian//connor - hold on

trigger warning; mentions of depression, so please read with caution! stay safe xx

--

"Someone photoshop Connor into this!" JC laughed as five out of the six O2L boys piled on top of each other.

Kian's heart clenched as he heard those words. Connor had left O2L not too long ago, and now it was his turn. In fact, the group itself would soon be forgotten.

Ricky wriggled out of the pile to turn off the camera. Everyone began getting up and dusting themselves off, trying to decide who was going to edit the footage.

"Kian, why don't you do it?" Trevor piped.

"Seriously? Kian?" Sam scoffed. "He's gonna destroy the footage before anyone gets ahold of it."

Which was assumably true. After all, the group did have to refilm the video so many times because of Kian's breakdowns. Ricky looked at Kian sympathetically, then sighed. "No, Kian should do it. He'll make it work."

Kian nodded, taking the camera in his hands. "I, uh.. I'm gonna go somewhere first, okay?"

"Fine, but you have to pick up something to eat on the way back," JC groaned.

"Make sure I can eat it!" Trevor chimed in a sing-songy voice, making the other boys laugh. Kian smiled weakly, then hopped in his car and drove off.

It took three knocks and two doorbell rings for Connor to answer. "Kian?"

"Connor, I'm.. I-- can we talk?"

"Um, er, okay?" Connor nodded hesitantly. The usual preppy, confident man was gone, replaced with a helpless, lost boy. It felt almost foreign to see Kian in such a state.

After taking some sips of freshly brewed coffee, Kian finally spoke. "I need help."

"Help? Help with what?"

"Um, uh--Editing a video," Kian held up the memory card on the camera.

Connor laughed, taking it along with his mug to his workplace. He shifted some of his papers to the side to make room for the new object. "Why didn't you just text me? I mean, you didn't have to drive all the way over here. Besides, is something up with your computer? 'Cause you told me yourself that you liked editing your own videos."

"Yeah, I did, but this isn't really my own video." Kian whispered to refrain his voice from cracking.

"Really? Then what video is this?" Connor asked.

"We made the split video," the adolescent choked out. "I mean, I didn't think I would take it that hard, but man-- I just can't imagine not making weekly videos and saying, 'What's up, o2l?' anymore. I'm so lost, Connor."

"I know how you feel," the other nodded, continuing to drink his coffee. "I felt the same way when I first left, but you will get used to it after some time. You'll pull through this."

"No, but.. O2l has become an actual part of me. It's like an organ, and I can't just leave it. It's-- it's getting worse."

"It?"

"You know.. It."

Connor sighed, putting his mug down on the table. "Kian, saying the word will not kill you."

"I don't want to say that I have depression!" Kian yelled, slamming his fist down on the desk. "I want to be strong, like my fans! I don't want them to see me like this and.. and lose hope in themselves!"

"They will not lose hope in themselves. They have you to hold on to."

"What if I'm gone?"

"You won't be."

"But I have nobody to hold onto," Kian blinked, tears threatening to spill from his eyes.

Upon hearing this, Connor clasped onto Kian's shaking hands. "You have me, okay? You have o2l, no matter if it is still active or not. You have your family, you have your fans. You don't have to hold on to anything or anyone to know that you are going to be okay."

"Oh? And how does that work?"

"We'll all hold you up," Connor leaned closer to Kian, a small smile playing on his lips, "and I, for one, will not let you fall."

--

idk where I got this deep conversation from it just came to me ??

also this was inspired from the o2l YouTube video and the way Kian was acting during the video (it made me tear up sekfinvofwdunfwjei)

do you guys have any /6 follows? BC if you do hit a girl up ! jk (but seriously)

anywayysss how are you all?

are you doing anything fun today?

take good care of yourself and remember that someone out there loves you and cares about you :)

also celebrate bc on 6.26 all 50 states in america allow gay marriage!

enjoy x