Supernova

Chapter Eight | it's just rebecca; that's the issue

Xavier

"Xavier, honey, are you sure you can't make it home?" my mom pleads on the phone and I suddenly feel more than guilty for not being able to come home for Thanksgiving.

"Mami, I would come if I could. You know that," I assure her. And she does. I don't think that hurts her any less much to my dismay.

I hear her sigh on the phone. "I know. I can't help but miss mi niño. I haven't seen you since Christmas."

I wince at her words. "Mami, I'm sorry."

"Oh, Xav, please. Don't apologize. You know me, I just think you work too hard. Don't stay all cooped up in your apartment for the holiday, okay?" She orders.

I smile. Even across the country, she never fails to boss me around. "I will try, Mami. I love you."

"I love you more, mi dulce oso."

I hang up and sigh. I knew she was going to be upset. I feel even worse for lying to her about why I can't come home.

Rebecca is being released tomorrow and into my care.

Truth be told, I never thought I would see the day that she would leave that place. Supposedly within the past year, she's really gotten herself together. So much so that they think she should be living her life out here. I just wish it didn't have to be with me.

I care for Rebecca. I always have, but I could never be with her again. Not after how she treated me and certainly not after how she treated herself. She has too many demons to fight for me to be in a relationship with her. Far more than I'm able to handle.

Rebecca's family completely cut her off sometime when we were dating. Personally, I think that played a major role in what drove her to do what she did. It nearly destroyed her. After we moved to Chicago, nothing was the same. Picking up the pieces after that was probably one of the hardest things she'd had to do. As a result of that, I'm her next of kin, emergency contact, all of it. After we broke up, I tried to get her to transfer it to her best friend but she insisted it be me.

I didn't get to speak with her for long on the phone last week, however, she told me this wouldn't be a long stay. She explained that it's just until her friend moves and has an open room for her. She plans on getting a job and everything. I just don't want her to do too much and regret it later. I can't keep her in my apartment long. Things with me and Rebecca... they'll get worse before they get better.

My phone pings and drags me out of my train of thoughts.

Sterling Whitlock: I'm here. Open your door before I break it down.

I smile at my phone, slightly shaking my head at her threatening message. Sterling and I have managed to get close these past few weeks. Not nearly as close as I would like, but close in a way where I think she almost trusts me. I still feel like she's holding something back.

She comes over every now and then, or I'll go over to her place. She's been working so much now that I either see her late at night or super early in the morning. Patty will invite me over for dinner, even when Sterling isn't there. I see why Sterling loves her so much. The motherly touch she has makes you feel like she's always been there.

Ever since I was a millimeter away from Sterling's lips the night after her date with Duke, I can't get her off of my mind. She's always here. Anytime I see her jet black hair swinging around her, I wish my hands were buried in it and my voice carried sweet nothings into her ears. Everytime her eyes wander around, I wish they landed on me and that she stared intensely. Everytime her lips curl into a smile, I wish they were pressed against mine and the world was fading away. It drives me crazy.