I Love You So

Part 47

Amanda pressed her forehead against the screen door for so long she felt the pattern engrave on her forehead and cheek. Soft, warm tears flowed down her face and were greeted by the harsh winter wind. She pulled her forehead off the screen door, glancing over her shoulder at Shane, who was lying down on a sleeping bag, asleep.
It had been three months since Shane had been brutally impaled by the rebar.
Due to the lack of medical care, Shane's recovery was devastatingly slow. So, they made camp in a small town, living into an abandoned home - in an abandoned gated community.
Amanda walked over to Shane, kneeling down beside him, "Shane?" She whispered, tapping his chest

"Still alive." Shane mumbled, which was what he said quite often nowadays - as a subtle reminder to himself and Amanda

"I know." Amanda said softly, "I'm gonna go scavenge." She whispered

"Take the pistol." Shane said softly, keeping his eyes closed

"No, I'm gonna take the bow. You need the pistol in case anything happens. You're weak, you need the firepower more than I do." Amanda said quietly

Shane finally opened his eyes, staring at Amanda with his dark brown eyes, "Take the pistol." He ordered, rather than asked

"No." Amanda said, "I'll be back within an hour." She promised, standing up. She walked over to the corner of the room, where she kept her items. After spending several years with Daryl, she learned how to create makeshift arrows. Finding a bow just happened to be a gift from God. Or Gods Pity. Either way, Amanda was grateful nonetheless.

Amanda laced up her boots before she slid on her parka, walking outside of the home. She locked the front door, placing the key on a necklace. She covered the door with fallen tree branches before she made her way down the driveway.
She listened to the snow crunch beneath her feet, her mind wandering over to Rick. She recalled when they walked around Rick's neighborhood, in search of Lori and Carl. She recalled how her heart yearned for his affection. For his love.

Amanda walked down the sidewalk, making her way to the woods. She exhaled softly, looking at the way her breath turned white. Amanda crouched down, lifting up some leaves, smiling when she saw some rabbits caught in her makeshift trap.

She grabbed them, strapping them to her belt before she continued down the path. She touched the trees, looking at her red and dried knuckles. She inhaled softly as she continued down the path, making her way to a small gas station. She made her way to the auto hobby section, crouching down and fumbling for the latch to the massive metal gate. She grabbed the cold steel before she pulled the gate open, revealing a beat up old blue truck. She walked to a red tool box, opening it and pulling out a set of keys that were buried underneath a set of tools.
Amanda climbed into the car, closing the door quickly. She put the key in the ignition before she pulled down the visor, looking at herself in the small mirror. She could hardly tell who was staring back at her.
Her once full and plump cheeks were now hollowed out, the tip of her nose and the apples of her cheeks rosy from the harsh winter air.
Her eyebrows had grown out nicely and were a bit thicker since she wasn't able to do small mindless self care tasks like shave and tweeze.
Amanda stared at herself in the mirror, her once bright green eyes now dark, her face sunken and riddled with depression.

"My name is Amanda Grimes. I'm married to Rick Grimes. I'm 30. I lived in a small community named Alexandria. I have a son named Carl and a daughter named Judith." She said, staring at her reflection, almost as if she was trying to convince herself that was the truth. As the days went on, she found it extremely hard to find a reason to keep living. She had been away from Rick for about three months. She tried to soothe herself by reminding herself that Rick's survived years in the apocalypse before - what are the chances that he would die in the three months they've been separated?