ch.15

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my nipples fucking hurt.
i'll start my tour tomorrow, we're already on the way to ohio, jake is driving. even my shirt is fucking irritating me and it seems that the piercings doesn't want to heal.

"jakeeee" i start whining again for the sixth time today.

"i know it hurts, dude, shut up" he says frustrated.

"whoa, in the morning i was 'beautiful' and 'darling' and now i am 'dude'?" i ask raising my eyebrows.

"you are a beautiful dude" he says while smiling wide. his side profile is really pretty. i mean he is pretty from every angle.

we're gonna spend tonight and tomorrow night in a hotel and after we'll be on our way to the next place. this next couple of days will be nightmares, but atleast i'll meet some of my fans and jake will be there as a surprise too.

we arrive to the hotel but our room is not ready for us yet, so we're going out to eat. jake want's to go somewhere fancy, but i don't really like fancy places, i don't feel like i belong there and i also can't really find anything on the menu usually, that i would like to eat. i really just want my chicken nuggies. so we argue on that, but finally jake gives up and we go to mcdonald's. jake gets a greasy ass burger and i get chicken nuggets and fries.

the rest of the day is kinda boring, we went to look for new clothes for the concerts, but we can't find anything i like. jake the other hand buys like five crop tops for himself.

we go back to the hotel. our room is quite big  it has two beds. it has a bathroom and a balcony.

"johnnie" jake calls my name while i film room tour for the tour vlog i'm doing.

"yeah?" i go back to him and i put the camera down. he is sitting on one of the beds, searching for something in his bag.

"i have something for us" he says.

"condoms?"

"what?" his eyes widen, but when he sees that i'm laughing he starts smiling too. "weed."

i haven't smoked weed in a while, but to be honest i'm so axious about tomorrow, that i need it. it'll help. jake rolls a joint, which is pretty fucking ugly, because he can't really roll, but i'll get the job done. we go out to the balcony. he takes a hit and hands it to me.

"it's strong" he says, but i'm sure i can handle it. jake only smokes time to time, but i've been smoking since i was nineteen. there was a couple of years in my life that i wasn't sober for a single day. "i can already feel it" he laughs and i smile a little. jake is a laugher when he smokes. i'm a quiet one. i just like to spectate my surroundings when i'm high.

after we smoke the joint we just go inside and lie down to our beds. jake puts on music.

"we should write a song" he says.

"like right now?" i laugh. he laughs too. he can't even speak for a minute, because he is so out of breath.

"i don't know, dude... just say a line and i'll make a whole ass song out of it."

"erm... sure..." i start thinking. i stay quiet. i'm pretty sure that it was just a few seconds, but jake interrupts.

"johnnie it's been five minutes" he laughs. he is really pretty when he laughs.

"you are pretty" i say turning to my side to face him. i wish i was closer to him.

"nooo, stoooop, you're pretty" he says it like a little girl. he is so girlypop.

we just stay quiet for a while and eventually we fall asleep. i wake up in the middle of the night, but jake is not snoring, so i assume he is awake.

"jake?" i call his name.

"yes, darling?" he turns to my direction. i can only see his siluette because it's so dark inside.

"i'm really scared. what if i fuck something up?"

"come here" he says, and i behave. i sit on the edge of his bed, but he grabs my arm and pulls me down next to him. "you're gonna be great, johnnie. you always are"

-

i was gone for a couple of days i'm sorry i'm running out of inspiration :(
idk when the next chapter is coming, but i'm trying to get myself together <3

24/2/2024

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